Insomnia

I don’t ever sleep the full night through. I’ve been having a lot of nightmares about the past. You think you are over something and yet there it is poking it’s heads out. I’m in this vicious sleep cycle. Bed at 1am, wake up between 2:00 and 5:00 am. Go back to bed at 8:00 am and then sleep until 11:30am or noon. Don’t get me wrong I love sleep because usually I have full control of my dreams but lately it has just been terrible.

My mood has been pretty good. However I am pretty lonely. Hubby works from home but he works really hard and is on the phone most of the day so we can’t hang. I was having painting nights with my sis-in-law but then my niece got covid. So we of course have been avoiding each other. The rest of my family is in Canada so there’s no visiting there. I haven’t seen anyone but my mom and half sisters since I moved down here and that was almost 3 years ago now.

Having social anxiety doesn’t help much. I avoid most people like the plague. I want to get to know my neighbors better because everyone is so nice here. Yet I keep holing back because they are all very outgoing. We put a patio and firepit in the backyard so we could invite them over, then winter hit. We’ll try again next summer I suppose.

Anyhow that’s all for tonight. Hopefully I’ll get back into the practice of writing every day.

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