I Just Want To Cry

I don’t know if it is stress, my depression or just because I feel left out of things.

First off my apartment is super tiny and with 4 adults, 1 little person and 2 dogs it is way to crowded with junk.. My computer room/guest room is so full I can’t even get to my computer so I have to use this lap top which I hate.

My mother bought dollar store food and I am terrified she is going to give me food poisoning..

My sister and mom are having a great time together and I am having a hard time with it. My mom is so reasonable and supportive on the phone but then she says stuff like, just don’t worry.. Well thanks that’s the answer.. You need to take estrogen, you need to take blah blah.. She is driving me crazy..

They went to Venice Beach today and my sister bought things for everyone, not even a postcard for me though. I feel like the owner of a bed and breakfast. It made me cry today when hubby called. I mean cry a lot.. Then of course he made me laugh. It helped to get those things off my chest, it’s not like I can say them to mom..

She is supposed to be living with me 6 months a year, how will this even work.. I dunno.. I just know I am about ready to lock myself in my room until hubby gets home Friday..

Fuck fuck fuck fuck…

8 comments

  1. Fuck indeed! That sounds totally Fucked!! Family is tough, its hard to say no to them but sometimes you have to to protect your sanity . Personally when people give me unsolicited advice I smile and nod and say “that sounds like you think that would be a great idea. Thanks for sharing” usually they find this disarming . Of course I am giving you unsolicited advice too! I’m so glad your hubby made you laugh.. sounds like you needed that. He sounds like a keeper ..

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  2. That whole situation is a difficult one. I’ve always resorted to hiding myself off to the side somewhere. Facing family while depressed is never fun. I get tired of the constant questions. Is everything ok? Blah blah blah. Stfu!!

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  3. Do you know the word “NO”?. It has taken me along time to say that to my dad. If your not getting the support from your mom it’s normal. Some people ,even parents, dont always have the answers. I stopped listening to my dad (My Mom has pasted away years ago) We are allowed to – not like a parent. We can love them as well as not like them. You may need to find a close friend who is close to your mom’s age to talk to. Your sister should have been handle at the time of her buying things for ohers like “So what did you get for me?”. Or pull her aside and ask her. I’m sure she will have an answer or an “I’m sorry”.
    But all the above requires you to handle it at that time with them or you will feel like a door mat.

    Just say a prayer and think before you speak but SPEAK!

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    1. I am sadly to kind for my own good. I also don’t have any friends, so that’s out. As for my sister she is shy and sweet and I would never make her feel bad, I at least get the gift of seeing my niece. Did I mention my middle name was “doormat”.. hehe

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