Today I sat like a fucking mess and cried a good deal of my day away. It’s not that there was exactly a lot to cry over, it’s just my heart feels so torn apart for no goddamn reason. My brain feels like it is betraying me and I’m tired.

I hate this damn depression, it sucks the life out of me. I’m so drained but I don’t want to sleep because then I can’t sleep at night. I don’t want to be alone anymore than I need to because frankly I’m lonely as hell. So fucking lonely. No one but hubby to talk to and I have to wait until he gets home each day. Even with my sleep as late as I can thingy that I do, 5 hours alone is my max. Sometimes I feel alone when hubby is home because I have to let him do stuff to make him happy, he can’t just be thinking about my needs all the time.

Hubby did something sweet today, he brought me flowers and a stuffed turtle. The stuffed turtle was the amazing part. I collect all things turtle and trying to find turtle things especially in the middle of the country.