Month: September 2014

Back and Forth

My mood is so all over the place.

I was in a good mood today my animes arrived in the mail and I was so happy to start watching them. I cried when. The opening and closing credits for each episode. They were tears of happiness though.

Hubby came home, he was at the clinic and has bronchitis the poor man. Yet no one could make decisions about dinner and it sent me off on a tirade about picking out food. I was so pissed.

Admitted I had talked to my daughter for a few minutes. It was good but still seemed to connect to my getting my hackles rised.

Right now I would just like to take hubby to a hotel, snuggle in bed and watching some anime while he heals.

Yet the reality is I will be watching alone and he will be sick at work. Spreading his sickness amongst his co- workers as opposed to laying in bed where his ass should be.

Hopefully my cold continues to get better, I don’t want part of that crap.

I would like to just be happy. Also been raining all day and I haven’t been out of the house but for a minute. I need out of the prison once a day at least.

Need to buy a UV therapy light soon. Any suggestions??

Back To Normal

Tomorrow FIL leave and I work a little and it wil be so quiet..

Quiet never thought I would love it, but I can’t wait to have some time to myself. I think I am growing as a person.

Walked again tonight in my in the future neighborhood. Hate waiting for things to happen but someone has moved into the first home in the neighborhood. I’m excited for them.

I’m gonna become better physically to work with my maturing emotionally. It can get better. All of it.

A Little Breakdown

Tonight I talked with my daughter. She again has been dumped by the asshole who she keeps being screwed over with.

I hate that he keeps hurting her. She also informed me that she had been basically been welling herself for drugs. Though she has been clean for 3 months.

I told her if she goes back to this man I will need to stop talking to her. She is mentally unstable and I don’t want to abandon her but she is such a trigger for me.

After the call I wanted to kill myself and felt so guilty and heartbroken for the ways she had turned out. I can’t keep doing this to myself. I started drinking until hubby took the wine away from me. I wasn’t being very smart with taking cold medicine and Xanax and alcohol.

It was a hard day, eventually hubby was able to calm me back down but it made me realize that I might need cut her out of this continues just for my own sanity.

I hope she takes my advice and moves to a new Provence far away from that man and starts a new life, cause this just doesn’t work.

Today Was Good

I am still recovering but today was pretty good.

We went out to the lot which is always awesome and wandered around one of the houses that is the same model of ours but is further along in the build.

Went out to lunch with MIL and we did a little shopping. I needed some stationary as I’ve decided to write my grandparents a letter. I want to communicate with them while they are still alive. I miss them and went them to know it.

I cooked dinner for the entire family, SIL, FIL and MIL plus hubby and everyone ate a lot and complimented it. It was just tacos but it made me feel good non-the-less.

Lastly we all watch the newest X-Men movie together which was nice as my MIL has surround sound. We shut down all the lights and it felt like we were enjoying it in a theatre. I enjoyed it as well as the ambience.

so no real complaint today except for the fact I have to do laundry and I am a little hypos manic. I am at least getting things done!

As Promised Hole Pics

I’m still feeling like crap but you can see what is happening at the lot. Wanted to share.

I’m slightly manic so I am talking a mile a minute even though I feel like ca-ca/

Such is life.

Feeling Like Hell

I’m sick, I have a cold, I have a Uti and frankly I am way too tired to post.

Therapy was good.

Day with MIL was good.

I’ll post picture of the hole soon, promise.

Night night.

UTI and More Hole Action

Today I started peeing blood and it felt like razor blades we being dragged through. Y urethra. I fricken hate these things, makes me want to give up sex altogether. I won’t but as I take these antibiotics,

So cold + uti… No fun.

My work day went well. I’d forgotten just how much I enjoy being bossy. Especially about mke release.

Now on to some good news. Our hole now has footings. I’ll take picture this weekend. I was thrilled was just going to look at the hole but there was stuff going on there, so woot.

The last and bee test news. I had a genetic test done for breast and colon cancer and it cme back negative. In fact there is only a 13% chance of me getting cancer. SO th ittl bad thing going on can suck it!!! ha!

Tomorro is the therapists, I’ll he good stuff to talk about that isn’t past crap.

Stress Ahead + A Fricken Cold

Today was not that eventful. I woke up feeling like someone had been shoving sharp rocks down my throat all night, but other than that all I did was chill and take on one client.

Yep I decided to work for 30ish minutes a week and make a quick 200 a month. It will help out some which will make me feel less useless. Plus honestly being a phone domina can be fun. I’m naturally bossy!

As for the stress coming up, my father in law is coming into town for a week. It always turns out ok, but I still find it stressful. Even with no one coming there just a ton of stress both good and bad, mostly good I suppose. Two more days until therapy… Thank goodness!

Btw excuse the typos I write my blog on my iPad right now and it doesn’t correct poorly made sentences just the occasional misspelling.

Right On The Edge

I’m on the edge of a mood. It’s been an up and down day. My prick of an ex-brother-in-law is trying to make everyone’s life a living hell. Mostly my mom in law cause he is so fucking selfish. If I had my way he’d never get a job again and would have to live on the streets.

He and my sister in law expect my MIL to watch my nephews and niece for like 12 fucking hours a day. She in her mid 60’s and should be allowed to relax but she is too good of a woman to tell them to go fuck themselves. It’s making me seethe. At least I have a reason to be pissed for a change.

On the good news front we now have a gigantic basement sized hole on. On our lot. I’ll post pictures tomorrow. For now I’m done before I curse anymore. I’m a regular patty mcpottymouth.

It Was An Eventful Day

I woke up grumpy as usual. I noticed that I am having a lot more nightmares again. I’ll live with it, I figure it’s my minds way of being a jerk.

I didn’t let my crappy mood get me down though. I went out for lunch, went and priced stuff we need for the house, appliances and what not. We also picked out some nice furniture that we are interested on. We can’t buy it but we know the formations we want.

I just got back from the movies. We went to see The Maze Runner. I enjoyed it and it was nice being out at the theatre. I did leve my new pink sweater behind though. Damn hose comfortable recliners.

I hope that things will start taking an upswing, if not I M just gonna keep pushing.. Screw the negativity.