A Little Breakdown

Tonight I talked with my daughter. She again has been dumped by the asshole who she keeps being screwed over with.

I hate that he keeps hurting her. She also informed me that she had been basically been welling herself for drugs. Though she has been clean for 3 months.

I told her if she goes back to this man I will need to stop talking to her. She is mentally unstable and I don’t want to abandon her but she is such a trigger for me.

After the call I wanted to kill myself and felt so guilty and heartbroken for the ways she had turned out. I can’t keep doing this to myself. I started drinking until hubby took the wine away from me. I wasn’t being very smart with taking cold medicine and Xanax and alcohol.

It was a hard day, eventually hubby was able to calm me back down but it made me realize that I might need cut her out of this continues just for my own sanity.

I hope she takes my advice and moves to a new Provence far away from that man and starts a new life, cause this just doesn’t work.

2 comments

  1. Oh my God – I’m so sorry for this. You do NOT need triggering. You are getting your life back, you’ve been doing so much better. I am proud of you for saying such difficult words to her – that you wouldn’t stay in touch if she returns to the jerk. I hope she sees the light and moves away from him as you suggested to start a new life.

    You have a wonderful hubby!

    Please more cough med, Xanax and booze together, girl. I don’t like to share this story – I am not proud of it, but I almost killed myself & my child on Xanax alone (car accident) & ever since then I tapered off it and I don’t take it any more.

    Sending you my love and a hug. You’re in my prayers, honey.

    Like

  2. I am so, so very sorry. You and your daughter are in my thoughts and prayers. It is very difficult to love someone who is acting out. You do have to take care of yourself, though, and you cannot control her. Time for the good old Serenity Prayer (if you don’t believe in God, edit as it suits your needs):
    God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
    The courage to change the things I can,
    And the wisdom to know the difference.

    Like

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