Every Monday I have my sister in law, mother in law and a friend of the family all over for taco night. We play some games, eat some tacos and have a generally good time.
I’m glad I am doing it today because I am feeling really lonely.
I remember my best friend saying I could contact her whenever I was feeling lonely. Yet she’s gone and I’m here and I’m lonely.
It seems to be even harder after a good weekend with my husband. I’m glad I chose Mondays for this.
I didn’t write all weekend cause I was having a good time with hubby enjoying life. We walked and talked and hung out.
Thank you to Gentle Kindness for nominating me for the Encouraging Thunder Award. I appreciate it so much! Thank you.
I sadly have no blogs to nominate but will add some soon.
My voice is blogging is to be able to fully express how I am feeling day to day. I want others to understand that it’s ok to feel the way you do and others are feeling that way as well.
Being pretty much housebound during the day is wearing thin on me. I’m not really sure what to do with myself. I think that I’ve said that like a million times.
All I do is smoke and try to take the edge off of my stress about doing nothing.
I’m so jealous of people with jobs or school or real hobbies. I mean ya I paint but my creativity has been shit lately too.
Sounds like depression to you? I know I am still having feelings about my friend dying but it seems to be leaking into everything. I am just sad and bored.
I feel like I should be just feeling grateful for what I do have and sucking it up. So you can add guilty to the feelings I have too.
I find myself wandering around my house every day trying to find something to do that will make me happy. I didn’t realize it right away but I am depressed. I mean considering what has happened I am not surprised. I’ve also been messing my meds up. Missing days here and there.
Day 3 without smoking. I’m not quitting I’m just trying to take the time to heal I need without feeling altered.
I am feeling slightly better today and I hope that means that things are on the upswing. I can’t do much about the depression or the illness but I can try and ride them out gracefully.
Anyone else gotten this crappy stomach bug?
I’ve had some kind of stomach virus for close to a week and it feels horrible. I’m sore and achey and really just want to go back to the day where I felt ok. Just ok would be amazing.
It helps with my weight loss though. I think I can find better ways to deal with that honestly. Like eating good food. All I’ve had over the past week is crackers and ginger ale.
I’m on my second day without smoking anything. It helps a lot with the nausea but you know if you can’t eat when high that you are really and truly sick.
My mood is what I like to call sucky. You know where you just want to crawl into the lap of someone who loves you and be held? Ya that.
I’m working on writing more. Every other day so far. I hope to get back to posting every day again. It helps with well everything to be able to vent and know you have support.
After my best friend died I really felt no want or need to write. I just kept myself in a self-medicated stupor hoping to forget that it had happened. Am I still self-medicating? Yup! I’m not perfect and smoking a bowl helps me relax and clouds my mind from the pain. I’ll stop eventually.
I am feeling very frustrated about life in general. Some might think that it is glorious to not have a job and stay home all day. I’m not one of those people. I am so fucking bored. Which makes me miss my best friend even more dammit. I have no idea what to do with myself.
My pills have sucked at my creativity and I don’t drive. I’m afraid to go walking by myself and the closest I get to going out most days is sitting on the front porch. I need more. I want more. Both of those statements are equally true.
Anyhow I am seriously thinking about coming back to at least writing every day.. We’ll see..