After my best friend died I really felt no want or need to write. I just kept myself in a self-medicated stupor hoping to forget that it had happened. Am I still self-medicating? Yup! I’m not perfect and smoking a bowl helps me relax and clouds my mind from the pain. I’ll stop eventually.
I am feeling very frustrated about life in general. Some might think that it is glorious to not have a job and stay home all day. I’m not one of those people. I am so fucking bored. Which makes me miss my best friend even more dammit. I have no idea what to do with myself.
My pills have sucked at my creativity and I don’t drive. I’m afraid to go walking by myself and the closest I get to going out most days is sitting on the front porch. I need more. I want more. Both of those statements are equally true.
Anyhow I am seriously thinking about coming back to at least writing every day.. We’ll see..
Take your time and focus on yourself. When the mood strikes, then it strikes. Blogging should be something you look forward to and not dread. Take care!
Blogging can be cathartic or a drag. When it is cathartic it helps get the darkness out of your life. I hope you start feeling better. May God bless you and keep you.
I’m so sorry about your friend. Give yourself lots of love and time xoxo
Wish you the best at not self-medicating, stepping outside of the house every now and again, and taking steps like this post toward letting your creativity flow.