Here Piggy Piggy

My husband being the sweet man that he is gave me a cake for Mother’s Day. I took a picture of it because I was going to show how pretty it was.. Little did I know that I would actually be showing off what a fucking pig I am. I ate all that in a few hours. Then promptly threw it up. Things are getting worse. I am actually almost crying while I am posting this. I am so frustrated. I am out of my Viibryd and the shrink still hasn’t gotten back to me with refills. I want to go off it true, but not cold turkey. I hate how horrible you feel when that happens. I’ve had it done on a few things. Even going slowly off a med doesn’t feel good.

I said to my husband what if I tried to kill myself with something I know wouldn’t kill me so they take me seriously?. He was a little upset to say the least. I’m tired of being depressed.  Sometimes I do want to die to make it stop. I wish I didn’t love my husband so much it would be easier to just let go. As long as he is here and loves me though I gotta keep fighting.

5 comments

  1. I fucking hate incompassionate doctors (is that a word? Brain fog is bad today), I fucking hate being in a position where a doctor has control over my own body and feelings by having the power to delay or change medication… SO fruatrating. I’m really sorry for what you’re going through. You ARE fortunate to have a supportive and understanding husband, but even that can only help so much in a situation like this. I’m sure he feels helpless as well. Sending prayers and positive energy your way…

    Like

  2. I feel your pain, and I admire you for being so up front about what you’re going through. I’ve had the same thought – trying to kill yourself just so people take you seriously. I have that thought a lot actually. But stay strong! You’re not alone.

    -B

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s