Here Piggy Piggy

My husband being the sweet man that he is gave me a cake for Mother’s Day. I took a picture of it because I was going to show how pretty it was.. Little did I know that I would actually be showing off what a fucking pig I am. I ate all that in a few hours. Then promptly threw it up. Things are getting worse. I am actually almost crying while I am posting this. I am so frustrated. I am out of my Viibryd and the shrink still hasn’t gotten back to me with refills. I want to go off it true, but not cold turkey. I hate how horrible you feel when that happens. I’ve had it done on a few things. Even going slowly off a med doesn’t feel good.

I said to my husband what if I tried to kill myself with something I know wouldn’t kill me so they take me seriously?. He was a little upset to say the least. I’m tired of being depressed.  Sometimes I do want to die to make it stop. I wish I didn’t love my husband so much it would be easier to just let go. As long as he is here and loves me though I gotta keep fighting.