I hate that I promised myself I would post every day. Most days I want to but today I just don’t feel up to it.

I’m not depressed. I’m not angry. I’m actually ok.

My husband and I went and sat at the beach and watched the waves and talked about our future. It was nice because this is one of those days that I can actually see the future.

Most days I am too wrapped up in some degree of emotional hell that I can’t see anything past the point of just wanting to go to bed a sleep.

Not being medicated is scary. I remember the way I was and I know the possibility of it happening again is high. We leave next Weds and then I have an appt. set up on July first to start working on my mental health. I just need to last that long. I think I can do it.

Course I don’t know if I control my brain or my brain controls me.. We’ll find out.