Why So Insecure?!

My husband never hides anything from me. I occasionally browse his Facebook to see if there is anything funny going on and check his friends list. The friends list thing is pure paranoia.

I don’t now why I am so insecure, but going through it today I saw he and his sister were talking. It jaded me wonder if he is talking to people I am unaware of at work.
He used to be on aim with a bunch of work people now they all only talk through some work IM service. I don’t need to keep an eye on him, he’s a good man but it makes me feel better knowing that I could if I wanted to if that makes any sense.

When will this insecurity stop? Ever? I can’t wait to start to therapy for this.

He was telling me about a conversation about buying homes with a woman he works with, he’s only mentioned her name recently as apparently she is new tone team. It set all my alarms off.

Fuck, I hat my brain.

4 comments

  1. Oh! I have experienced this from the “other” side.
    I’m sorry you are going through this.
    To be honest… I could have dealt with it, if she would have always honestly told me about her feelings. But she probably was ashamed… so the pressure increased, so did her reactions.

    Do you openly talk about it?

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    1. I do now. Originally I didn’t know what was going on with me and I would fling accusations like shards of glass. Now I know it is just me and I try not to let it affect things. Holding the accusations inside are the hardest part but I know it’s my brain and so I deal with it.

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      1. that must be difficult! emotions are so strong.
        recognizing it as such must be so difficult, hard to even imagine for me! i’m glad you found a way!

        being open is the key.

        Like

  2. It sounds like you have a great guy there. Don’t let the paranoia destroy things. At least you know it’s the paranoia, so you can fight those thoughts. Good luck with the therapy.

    Like

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