My Best Friend Is Dead

At around 3:30am Saturday morning my best friend lost her fight with cancer. It doesn’t feel real and when it does all I can do is cry. My head just keeps popping to things I would talk to her about and I know I won’t be able to ever again. Ever. Like that’s it, shows over. I will be alone.

I know that seems like a weird thing to say because I have a wonderful husband but she is the one that kept my shit on track and I never got mad at her once for saying how she really felt I was being, feeling, doing etc.

I now have 0 friends.

It hurts so much I can’t even describe it. Feels like someone is tearing at my soul. That’s the best I can do to try to explain.

I don’t know what I am supposed to do now.

I’m alone.

6 comments

  1. First of all, you have my condolences for the loss of your friend. Secondly – you do have support here on WordPress, so you are not alone. My email is listed in my blog, so if you ever need to chat you can drop me a line whenever.

    Perhaps what may be advisable is to talk to a professional? If you see a therapist then it might not be a bad idea to give them a call on Monday morning. There are many paths to begin healing, so you should avail yourself to as many as possible.

    Take care!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I am sad to hear you have lost your only close friend and support system. I know you feel alone and that reality has turned dark.

    It is a terrible, terrible, place to be. I have been in that dark place before. I hope you can find your way out of it sooner than later.

    It does not last forever, but when you are in it, nothing seems to matter like it used to.

    Love and empathy,
    Annie

    Like

  3. Grief is a dark, sad, lonely yet nature process. I have lost, I get the overwhelming loss, it is consuming. Take care of yourself, see your medical support Drs. And Therapist. Grief counseling can be helpful. Ask them about it or search online for grief counseling near you. Maybe you will meet a new friend.

    Like

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