Bipolar

Thanksgiving

Usually Thanksgiving is a super stressful day. Going out in the car to go to my mother in laws place and be surrounded by family. With covid I had a nice quiet thanksgiving and cooked the whole meal myself. I enjoyed it and there was no stress. Usually hubby and I just order our meals out so it was fun to cook with him. It made me realize we need to do it more often.

I hope that everyone enjoyed there Thanksgiving without to much stress.

Figuring the new WordPress out

I am trying to figure out how to post, it’s kind of weird and confusing right now. Nothing like wanting to write and not being able to. 

If I get this figuring out I’ll definitely post more often. 

I’m back

I had a very very long depressive episode. Yes it lasted years. I went through many different meds and honestly thought that I would never be able to do anything again.

I’m now on some new meds which I will list for you at a post sometime in the future, but I am happy. Still housebound which I guess since I am in a pandemic is okay.

It’s weird being happy. I honestly don’t know what to do with it. I do have bad days and weeks still but they are no where near the levels they were before.

I am also having a lot of problems with sleep which I will also discuss in another post.

It’s nice to be back!

Day 9

today has gone pretty good. No head aches. I have some body aches but I think it is from sitting cross-legged all the time. My hubby is watching the puppy while I write my blog post.

Nothing exciting has happened. The puppy is doing good. The withdrawal is going good and life is good.

I find it harder to write when I am happy.

 

Day 8

My mood has been good except for sleeping in really late again. I almost forgot to write my blog tonight it was the complete last thing on my minds then poof it popped in.

The puppies good.

The withdrawal so far has been easy.

 

Day 7

Well last night about 4am I woke up with almost a migraine headache. Then my nose was running this morning. I think I am getting a head cold. No chills or fevers so not worried about the flu. I can deal with a head cold and if the head ache is because of the withdrawal I can deal with that too. I do have some body aches but they are slight.

My mood today was good but I was super tired I slept until 1:30pm then went back to have a nap at 4:00pm I was just so tired. I still feel tired. Course getting woken up before 8 in the morning every day is super new for me and is going to take some adjusting.  Honestly so far I am not seeing a difference without the rexulti. That may prove to be different, we’ll see.

I was told Havanese were really barky. It’s damn true. She barks and barks and barks, and right now it’s this high pitched thing which sometimes sounds like someone is testing the fire alarm. I knew what I was getting into. Right now because I am not downstairs she is barking for me to come back. I’m secretly happy as that means she is attached to me and I really wanted one of the dogs to be like that. I could do without the barking though.

Not much else to say other than I won’t be writing my blog stoned again, or at least not as stoned as I was because it really took me forever to write a damn blog post.

Til Tomorrow.

 

Day 6

Today my mood was pretty good. Nothing got me down. My husband even had to work late and I was totally chill about it.

Today the puppy was awesome and would told to go potty, she runs to the peepads and goes, like on command. It’s nice because I know she won’t (hopefully) pee on the comforter again.

Sorry I’m too stoned to write, it’s taken me forever to write this. This was not my intention, I thought that Iwould be able to write better but clearly not, eep. \_O_/

The Rexulti withdrawal was fine today on the first day of going down to 1mgs.

Day 5

Today is the last day I will be taking the 2mg of Rexulti, tomorrow I start on the 1mg. I’ve had that almost headache feeling still but no more anxiety than normal. Nothing I can’t handle honestly. I mean I don’t really get all that anxious anymore unless I have to leave the house. Which is something I need to work on, but like I said the whole flu thing is keeping me inside and away from people for now. I really don’t want it.

In a few days I will have weed in the house again, I’m looking forward to that nice mellow buzz and am hoping it won’t change the way my antidepressants are working.  I don’t have a choice of what kind to get as pickings are slim.  I’m going to try and not be stoned every single day though. I think that will make a huge difference. I need to be alert to look after the puppy.

Speaking of the puppy, have I mentioned how thrilled I am that she is pad trained already. It’s been too cold outside for a little 3 pound pup.  She has left some bruises on me with her teething though, thankfully she is getting less nippy.

Well that’s it for today, back to Criminal Minds.

 

Day 4

Today I’ve been sluggish and had a bit of a headache. You know one of those ones that are just on the edge of turning into something? I don’t like to take medications so I have just tolerated it. I think it’s the withdrawal from the Rexulti.

The puppy is doing well but really limiting where I can go in my house. She doesn’t want to chill on my lap upstairs so I have to stay downstairs. It’s just too dangerous up here.

My mood is on the edge of pissy, it wasn’t too bad earlier but as the day has gone on it has gotten worse. I think it’s because I feel like a prisoner at the moment. Now I brought this on myself. I wanted another puppy because I was feeling that I had more love to give. I do love Dani to pieces too, I just am missing doing some of my normal stuff. Usually I play some WoW or do some face booking. I’m spending a lot of time watching TV, which I do that too but now is it feeling kind of forced.

Well that’s it for today. I hope tomorrow is a better day.

Day 3

Today has been an alright day. I’ve been antsy though, not sure if it is because of the withdrawal or I’m just tired of being home all the time. Could be a little of both. I haven’t really had any anxiety today and other than a few body aches it seems the slow removing of the rexulti is going as planned.

The puppy is having an awesome time, she loves playing with her new sister and brother. Charlie the male doesn’t usually play but he is actually smiling in that doggy way that dogs do. I have some great pics I’ll have to post them if I can get them off my phone.

I even painted my nails today. I’m not usually one to bother with it, I just grow my nails out and leave them au natural but I decided I wanted them to look pretty. Taking care of myself is a good thing, I don’t do it very well but it’s something I really need to do more of.

I can’t think of anything to write though my brain is kind of out of it. Perhaps this again is the rexulti withdrawal.  I sure hope it doesn’t last, having nothing to write is lame.