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A Little bit Manic

I’m a little manic. Not in the crazy way but in I want to do something but can’t focus on one thing. So I’m blogging for starters.

Yesterday I painted a couple paintings. Eventually I’ll upload them so you can see what I do.

Several weeks ago someone asked me to appear on their podcast and I’m still thinking about it. I’m so flattered. The last podcast I did was when I was still doing phonesex for a job. So it would be nice to do it for something else.

I really do want to start posting on my blog more frequently but for some reason I’ve had severe writers block. I’m thinking that since I have gone off the wellbutrin things will be better. You know writing, sex, painting… All good things. Wish me luck!

Sick Puppy

The new puppy we have has kennel cough so I forgot to write on my blog. She visited the vet today and got some antibiotics, hopefully she’ll be feeling better in the next few days. I need to get back to her but didn’t want to miss another day.

I can’t believe that I forgot to hit publish. Geez another day of missed blog….

My mood has been great except for feeling worried for the new fur baby.

I go and see my shrink on Tuesday so hopefully I’ll know more about the whole Rexulti situation. I really hope the insurance company covers it, we can’t afford 900.00 a month. Things are finally starting to swing into the positivity side, I consider ok a good mood too because it’s not negative.

I’ll be better about the blog tomorrow. sigh.

 

Almost Forgot

I almost forgot to post today. Hubby and I sat down and binge watched the entire second season of the magicians. I’m counting this as writing today because I haven’t gone to bed yet.

Today was another okay day, with hints of blah. I again didn’t sleep very well.  Going to have to talk to my shrink about it, she will likely suggest tarazadone (sp?) an antidepressant that actually helps you sleep. We have had to do that in the past.  Still haven’t heard back on whether the appeal has been accepted or not. I hate waiting for other people to do things that might end up being beneficial to me.

I don’t have much else to say. I’m going to go crawl into bed and hope to sleep tonight. I’m not sure I’ll be able to as I got a couple hours sleep this afternoon, but keep your fingers crossed.

 

A New Day

Well now it’s my second day of writing on my blog again.  Finding stuff to talk about might be difficult but I am going to try.

My mood has improved over the last while. I think the mixture the doctor gave me is finally working. Though my insurance company is giving me grief about the rexulti so it should be interesting how I’m going to be continuing to take it, I hate to play full price or have to depend on samples. I hate it when things are out of my hands.  I’ll know in the next few days.

Otherwise I’m excited to see what this year brings. Now if it wasn’t so damned cold.  I don’t think I could get my hubby to go out let alone go out myself as I don’t have a winter jacket. Time to shop on amazon and get a coat I guess.

I’ll be back tomorrow.

 

 

Well It’s a New Year

I didn’t make any real resolutions, I merely have decided to try and be better than I was last year. Which of course means holding myself accountable at times which I freaking hate.

I’m only posting because my blog link was sitting there taunting me.

The weed makes me incredibly unmotivated. Even as I write this sighs of frustration leave me at just having to put word to paper so to speak.  That sentence sucks. Oh well it’s gonna keep sucking because I don’t feel like putting a lot of motivation into this… my fingers feel like they are crawling across the keys at the pace of a snail, annoying.

I know that when I write I feel a little better at least when it is finally done. I don’t get a lot of good feelings but accomplishing something always gives me a little burst. This blog will be all I do today. I don’t want to do anything else. meh

Reminders

My husband reminded me that I had to do my blog. He shut off my alarm, I was apparently too engrossed in my samples to even hear it. It’s annoying and I don’t blame him and besides that I’m here right? lol.

My mood has been kind of mehish with a little happy thrown in here and there.

In a couple days I will be out of weed and I’ll not get any for a while to see if it makes any difference as well. I think it will be interesting to know since scientists aren’t allowed to do experiments with it right?

Doing Stuff

I was so excited yesterday that I went for a walk through the schramm park. I’d finally have something to write a blog post about. Than I forgot to post at all.

Today I have been doing some painting. There is some great music playing and there is a noticeable mood level. I felt happy today. Happy! I haven’t felt that in a very long time. I hope that means this is the drug for me.

Harder not to feel hopeful.

 

I Made Myself Feel Bad

I wasn’t going to blog today and I was okay with that for a while. Than out of nowhere I felt guilty about not writing so here I am stoned off my ass writing my blog post for the night. I’m a little late but I haven’t gone to bed so I consider it the same day.

Anyhow my mood was OK today. I had some fun, did some painting. Watched some Netflix. I’m trying really hard not to feel hopeful about a possible upswing but that’s really hard to do.

Right now I’m just relaxing listening to music.

Chillin’

 

Almost Time

It’s almost time for me to start my new meds, I think I start tomorrow. I’m so nervous.

Again I didn’t feel like writing my blog but hubby mentioned it so that kind of put me here.

I accomplished nothing today but being stoned. At least I’m alive.

 

 

Frustrated

I woke up in a bad mood today. I literally barked at my dog when she wouldn’t stop barking and scared her. I was so pissed though. Construction going on since first thing in the morning, making the dogs bark, keeping me awake.  There’s a reason I sleep until 11 or 12, it’s so I don’t have to fill 8 hours of being alone.

So ya I’m bitchy!

My alarm went off to write the blog in the middle of hubby and me watching some TV we have DVR’d. After the episode is over hubby shuts off the TV and I’m like what the fuck dude. He’s like go write your blog then we can watch some more. So here I am writing my blog. Even though I yelled and stamped my feet like a child walking up the stairs to my computer, I’m here.  Well I was here.. Now I’m gone, til tomorrow anyhow.