Moody Yet Again

I woke up in a good mood, still feeling happy about my hair cut.

I played on the computer for a few hours and had some fun. It seemed like a really good kind of day.

Then I got a message from my BFF saying she was upset with me. Rightly so. I haven’t been there for her like I should mostly because I’m afraid. Ever since I found out her cancer came back, I’ve been terrified. I’m afraid of losing the only other person that I love unconditionally besides my husband. I admit it makes me a coward for turtling myself into a shell and hiding.

I hope she forgives me for being so stupid. It hurts me to think that I might have hurt her in any fashion. She is going through more than enough, she doesn’t need my bullshit on top of it.

In a perfect world I would spend every day with her and we would be happy and healthy.

 

3 comments

  1. I admire you for admitting that you haven’t been able to provide the kind of support to her that you’d like – it’s not too late. I did the same thing as you with two close friends who had cancer, and I regret it.

    Do you know what she’d like from you specifically? More phone calls/emails/texts? I know it must be so tough, so take baby steps and try to do just one thing to start with. I know you can do it! Let us know how it goes. XOXO

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Do not be so hard on yourself. Apologize to your friend. Let her know you reacted fearfully and that you will try not to be so fearful. Cancer is not necessarily a death sentence. My mother has lived with lymphoma for thirty years. Of course, each case is different.

    Like

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