Family

Moody Yet Again

I woke up in a good mood, still feeling happy about my hair cut.

I played on the computer for a few hours and had some fun. It seemed like a really good kind of day.

Then I got a message from my BFF saying she was upset with me. Rightly so. I haven’t been there for her like I should mostly because I’m afraid. Ever since I found out her cancer came back, I’ve been terrified. I’m afraid of losing the only other person that I love unconditionally besides my husband. I admit it makes me a coward for turtling myself into a shell and hiding.

I hope she forgives me for being so stupid. It hurts me to think that I might have hurt her in any fashion. She is going through more than enough, she doesn’t need my bullshit on top of it.

In a perfect world I would spend every day with her and we would be happy and healthy.

 

Back To Normal

Tomorrow FIL leave and I work a little and it wil be so quiet..

Quiet never thought I would love it, but I can’t wait to have some time to myself. I think I am growing as a person.

Walked again tonight in my in the future neighborhood. Hate waiting for things to happen but someone has moved into the first home in the neighborhood. I’m excited for them.

I’m gonna become better physically to work with my maturing emotionally. It can get better. All of it.

Today Was Good

I am still recovering but today was pretty good.

We went out to the lot which is always awesome and wandered around one of the houses that is the same model of ours but is further along in the build.

Went out to lunch with MIL and we did a little shopping. I needed some stationary as I’ve decided to write my grandparents a letter. I want to communicate with them while they are still alive. I miss them and went them to know it.

I cooked dinner for the entire family, SIL, FIL and MIL plus hubby and everyone ate a lot and complimented it. It was just tacos but it made me feel good non-the-less.

Lastly we all watch the newest X-Men movie together which was nice as my MIL has surround sound. We shut down all the lights and it felt like we were enjoying it in a theatre. I enjoyed it as well as the ambience.

so no real complaint today except for the fact I have to do laundry and I am a little hypos manic. I am at least getting things done!