I am always afraid of death. It haunts me. Yet I’ve had physicals, ekg’s and even genetic testing. I ‘should’ live to a decent age. Maybe it is time to stop being afraid and time to start living?
I want to enjoy my life. I want to explore the world, even if it is the small world that I live in. I want to try new things and stop living in fear of my anxiety. I am going to the haunted house on Monday night and I am going to invite my husband to a movie this weekend.
I am going to stop being afraid. I am going to enjoy the life I have and if something happens. I will deal with it.
We went out to the lot which is always awesome and wandered around one of the houses that is the same model of ours but is further along in the build.
Went out to lunch with MIL and we did a little shopping. I needed some stationary as I’ve decided to write my grandparents a letter. I want to communicate with them while they are still alive. I miss them and went them to know it.
I cooked dinner for the entire family, SIL, FIL and MIL plus hubby and everyone ate a lot and complimented it. It was just tacos but it made me feel good non-the-less.
Lastly we all watch the newest X-Men movie together which was nice as my MIL has surround sound. We shut down all the lights and it felt like we were enjoying it in a theatre. I enjoyed it as well as the ambience.
so no real complaint today except for the fact I have to do laundry and I am a little hypos manic. I am at least getting things done!
I woke up grumpy as usual. I noticed that I am having a lot more nightmares again. I’ll live with it, I figure it’s my minds way of being a jerk.
I didn’t let my crappy mood get me down though. I went out for lunch, went and priced stuff we need for the house, appliances and what not. We also picked out some nice furniture that we are interested on. We can’t buy it but we know the formations we want.
I just got back from the movies. We went to see The Maze Runner. I enjoyed it and it was nice being out at the theatre. I did leve my new pink sweater behind though. Damn hose comfortable recliners.
I hope that things will start taking an upswing, if not I M just gonna keep pushing.. Screw the negativity.