I Feel Weird

I’m not super happy, I am not depressed. I can’t really explain the way I am feeling.

I’m smiling at things, I’m frowning at things. It’s weird. I hope this isn’t what normal feels like cause I won’t be having any of that.

I am still tired. I can not get enough sleep. Tons of REM, very little of anything else.

I need to go out today. I want to show an adventure with my pictures when I go out. Gotta keep up with the BFF 😛

I don’t think this is normal cause it feels almost numb, I guess that would be closer to depression that anything. Blech is a good descriptive word.

Definitely having some disassociation going on. Maybe that is the full problem. The feeling that I am watching everything from the outside in. ..

I want to run.. like just leave and run and run and run.. sitting still just isn’t going very well for me right now.. Everyday it gets worse. I know it’s because I want to leave and go home to Omaha. It will get worse. Until I am like a kid who has had to much sugar.

God I wish I wasn’t so fucking fat so I could run and not worry about killing myself.. okay now I’m getting pissed off.. moods I tell ya


  1. I hate those sort of feelings and I hate suddenly getting cross, too. Yeah, I’m trying to lose the weight I put on last year so I can go long distance running again without killing my knees! That will be awesome, when it happens.
    Good luck.


  2. Those feelings to me are the worse being that you can’t identify them. I myself have days as such. As for the running, do little by little. Any type of progression is always good. Let me know how it goes. 🙂


  3. I think disassociation is a great word to describe this. I’ve had days, moods, feelings where I feel like I’m an alien who has been dropped into a body that isn’t my own. I’ve found that doing something grounding or ‘normal’ like seeing a good stable friend can help bring me out of it. It can take hours of being around others but it can work. I hope your day went well and your mood has shifted.


  4. It’s been happening to me a lot lately. I care then I just don’t.
    And for me, I’ve been eating more and exercising and I’m still the same size. I work retail and I have a badge with my name and picture on it. Guy I was helping asked if someone had switched my name tag because I didn’t look anything like it anymore. Depression is just depressing.


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