Things Are Hard Right Now

I’m very depressed. I miss my family very much. My SiL doesn’t have time for me right now because she is too busy dating. I completely understand but miss our weekly hang outs.

I haven’t been smoking any weed which makes everything feel so much harder. I like to be numb. I like to experience laughter. You know good things.

I’ve had a lot of feelings about hurting myself.  I just want the depression to end. I would like to have some focus in my life. I’m so very tired.

My husband is concerned for me and has been staying home. He doesn’t know where my brain has been going. He fears for me when I am this depressed though. He is a good kind man. So I will not hurt myself and if I can’t fight the feelings I will ask for help.

I wish I could describe this.  it’s so painful. My brain can’t focus very well right now either though.

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