Yesterday I woke up feeling cheerful and hopeful, I talked my husbands ear off! I am sure he was quietly in his mind going omg woman shut up lol.  The day before that I couldn’t even get out of bed, let alone talk.. I just wanted to sleep and forget the world around me, moving was a pain both mentally and physically.  Depression is crippling and it makes me miss the mania.. I missed almost a week of my antipsychotic and it completely threw my emotions for a loop. I highly advise that you never ever go off your meds without the assistance of your doctor.

It always seem like a good idea to stop taking what I think is a poison that fills my veins, but it keeps me from completely ruining my life and/or killing myself. Even now with being on the meds I don’t have that much control over my emotions. People say to meditate or some other Zen type thing, but you have a gazillion thoughts racing through your head it is pretty much impossible..

Hopefully they will figure out my meds enough that I can have some semblance of a normal life.. I look forward to that day very much!