My mood: Cloudy with a side of Meh
Last night I ended up getting totally drunk. I might occasionally have a beer but last night I drank a few many more.. The plus side of it is I slept like the dead and in a fit of drunken depression called my sister. We were best friends for most of our lives but since I have moved to the states (13 years) I haven’t seen her or really even talked much. She must have thought me incredibly crazy to call all blubbering about how I miss her. However it’s true, I just keep those kind of feelings locked away in a vault where they rarely get to see the light of day.
Most of the time I prefer that, but the me last night was all I need to do this.. It went well as far as I can remember and we share cells so we could text now and often.
This leads me to my post though. My social skills are horrible. I don’t really even talk to most my family and as I said before I have no friends outside of video games and they really don’t mind. The fact they are European might have a little to do with it. I get to tell them exactly how I feel without feeling the harsh judgment or the wack-a-doo eyes people give you when you are truly and honestly upfront about everything about yourself.
The funny things is I don’t have a censor button at all. I have no qualms about sharing personal experiences with people I have only known for a couple of hours. It’s probably best for the world out there to not even know I exist. No one needs my kind of bat-shit crazy in their lives.
I got hubby and he grew up in a household where his feelings were mostly hidden away because he was with two crazy females (seriously they are) and had to deal with their stuff. We know how that is don’t we? Luckily I think this is also what makes him such a warm and caring person. Not to say he doesn’t have a deep dark side to him, but he always keeps his anger in check and will walk away before ever saying something he can’t take back.
I think the one thing I am liking so much about this blogging I feel like I can say anything without too harsh of a judgment and if someone says something horrible, well I can just delete it.. The power of the internet eh? Though I have to constantly remind myself that I am writing for me. It doesn’t matter if people don’t read my blog or twitter or facebook. It’s all for me.