Today I when my blogging alarm went off that was the sound I made, ugh.
Today has been a alright day. Physically I feel off, like my head is full of cotton balls. I hate that, it almost makes me feel like pulling back into a corner and crying.
I have accomplished some things though. I walked to the mailbox with my hubby. I had a shower. I painted my nails. Doesn’t seem like much does it? Yet all of those things are hard for me to get motivated to do. Sometimes it can be a week or more between showers when I’m in a depressive place. It makes me feel gross and sad. Though I always look fine to everyone else. That’s always been important to me, calmness on the outside while screaming on the inside! Anyone else do this?
Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day physically. I’m not quitting smoking weed but I am going to give myself a few days break, my throat hurts. Plus I see my psychiatrist on Thursday and I want to be able to tell my shrink how I really feel.
I feel motivated but sad and I think the sad will go away as soon as my body stops bothering me.