depressions

It’s been raining non stop since yesterday and it’s like a cathartic rain cleaning away my holiday humbugs. My mother in law is decorating the house and burning holiday scented canadles and it is making me look forward to Chritmas instead of dreading it like I always do.

Honestly there is some deep buried thing that makes holidays for us and as soon as I move into my home I will go back to the therapist. Always end up complaining about living here and it solves nothing.

I sent out cards to my family this year which I haven’t done in years. Even to my father who really has nothing to do with my life and my grandparents whom I miss very much.

Do you love or dread the holidays? How does it affect your mental illness? I’d love to hear. that I am not the only one that is affects.

I always see things in black or white. I’ve decided that I am going to start trying to see the grays.

My therapist told me it’s all about the way you look at things and being more accepting of people and situations. I really need to do this as I always absolutely love or hate someone. It will be interesting to try.

My depression is here and I’ve felt so down most of the day but I’m not going to allow it to make me not do things. So I painted, I played on the computer and I’ve agreed to try and find a meetup group so I can explore friendships.

Also hubby said there was a company looking for telemarketers right near his work. I’m gonna apply and see if I can get the job. Why not. I think I can work. It doesn’t hurt anything to try.

Can is my new word.