shrinks

Frustrating Day

Yesterday after going for a walk in the morning, I also went to CVS and went inside and shopped and stuff. I was a really good day.

Today I woke up and felt defeated almost immediately. I don’t know what the heck goes on with my brain honestly. I’m always my worst critic!

I keep having anxiety every time I think about going to the shrinks. I know I need to go but until it happens I will likely make it a much bigger problem than it will actually turn out to be.

Trying to think positive, not going very well so far.. The day’s not over yet.

Home Pieces

Today was eventful. I woke up at 6:00am for some freeking reason and needless to say I was stressed. One of my dogs threw up like a ton of food which made me gag the entire time cleaning up and then I went back to bed after doing some other cleaning around here.

When I went to sleep I had nightmares about someone who really abused me in many ways for many years, when I dream of him I usually am super stressed. I think everyone has one of those dreams ya know? It did help me figure out a lot of stuff.

I realized that while I am stressed about good stuff, I am also stressed about bad stuff. My BFF is ill. my daughter is practically living on the streets and jobless and my sister in law is going through a divorce. I’m not sure I’m coming to terms with everything but realizing they are there helps I suppose.

I nt to the therapist and shrinks and had a good session, found out that my paper work is getting sent out to the ECT place the beginning of next week, which is awesome! I also picked out all the stuff for my house, even the grout, seriously never even thought about that before.

Tonight something weird happened. I was doing something and all of a sudden my left nipple started hurting, like it’s still aching. I haven’t had a mammogram in three years so I suppose it is time for me to go and get it done. I will need to get a cab, I have no one to take me to these damn appts.

I’m not gonna stress it is likely nothing, right? I’m not really asking but I will work it out. Anyhow, ya.