October was not that great to be honest. I was depressed most of the time and spent many, well every day stoned off my ass.
November I started to feel something different. Not quite full happiness but I was wanting to do somethings and be involved. I laughed often. I was also stoned off my ass every day.
Today I am sad. I have legit reasons to feel sad. I’m lonely. My mom left. You know legit shit like that. I hope the meds are working and this is just normal emotions, I’ve felt numb for so long it is hard to tell what is what.
I have way more reasons I should be happy and yet here I am, not happy. Also feeling guilty about not writing while my mom visited as much. I only get so little time with her though.
I’ve signed up for another year for my blog so I guess I’m going to be here for a awhile.
A Bipolars Reality 
Can you describe the numb feeling?
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Actually it is really hard to describe but I’ll try. I don’t feel anything. I know I’m supposed to be thrilled with things or angry and instead I’m just sitting there feeling nothing at all. Like a robot. Except there is internal pain. That’s about all I feel when I’m like that.
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