Ketamine Treatment

Later…

It’s been a couple of days since my ketamine treatment. I feel a little weird and anxious, yesterday was worse but I am also in a decently good mood.

I have severe social anxiety and agoraphobia. Today I walked around a grocery store by myself!!! I’m hoping this means I can get out even more. When I was there, I didn’t even have a panic attack. Remarkable.

My panic attacks are typically about breathing or not being able to breathe. So, I am having some small anxiety about the back of my throat. It’s a little irritated from the ketamine. Also, ketamine has to be one of the most foul-tasting things on the earth, lol.

We have been going out once a week on the weekends. Exposure therapy works. We like to go and hang at the casino and play the slots. Normally we would also have dinner but currently I have no teeth, thanks to my poor oral hygiene. That’s a story for another day though.

Third Session

This session was way better than number two. There still was a little dizziness when I closed my eyes, but the room wasn’t spinning. About halfway through I started smiling and really enjoying my music. I am not a person who can sit still. I think it’s because of my ADHD honestly, but I really wanted to dance.

I texted my husband and my mom to kind of keep myself in check.

Today I feel a little off kilter, but I jumped out of bed and turned my tunes on and started singing and dancing. I mean what’s up with that. I’ve basically been feeling little to nothing for the last 6 months. I hide it well because otherwise my husband wants to help and most of the time he can do nothing but give me cuddles and love. Though there is nothing wrong with that. His hugs are like heaven.

I don’t go back until Weds but if anything changes with me, I will come and tell y’all about it.

Second Dose

I was not feeling very well yesterday. Tummy and bottom problems. I knew I had to go get my treatment regardless so there I went.

At first it seemed like it was going to be like the other appointment, but it turned out to be very different.

They took my blood oxygen and blood pressure to make sure I could actually take my ketamine. Pretty normal for the course. I was a little high in my blood pressure due to the sick anxiety. It was low enough to take my doses though. The first time they gave me two doses, 2 in each nostril. This time it was 3 and the way that I felt was not great.

Have you ever been so drunk that you got the spins? Well, it was a lot like that. Not pleasant at all. It lasted into the night, maybe a little bit this morning as well. The dizziness not the “high”. I really don’t understand why someone would do this for pleasure. I’m hoping my appointment today goes a little better.

I’m not going to quit unless there is a medical reason to do so. I’m hoping all of this will be worth it in the end.

Til tommorow.