I didn’t write a blog yesterday because I plain didn’t want to. I wasn’t in the mood to do a damn thing. Not much in the mood for writing today either but I hate to miss so many days so close together. Someone might actually read what I say. I dunno why, I feel like a dumb fuck. I feel terrified about going on the new antidepressant. Needless to say I’ve been all kinds of blah.
I thought that my emotions would be different. I thought that I would suddenly want to do all sorts of things. I thought once I was in my house I wouldn’t experience the depression. I was wrong.
I’ve been feeling kind of blah today. Things are still not completely put away and I can’t take care of them until some dressers and shelves come later this week. I’m feeling overwhelmed and stressed.
I thought that I would just automatically be happier. I didn’t think that the mood swings would happen so soon. I thought I would at least be able to ride the high of owning a home.
It’s frustrating. I want to be happy and relaxed. Stupid brain.