Today we got our shelving and dressers and I could finally get rid of the last of the boxes. I thought that I would be thrilled and for a few minutes as I looked around I was.
I then realized I had nothing to do. I can’t do laundry until our washer and dryer come Tuesday and I can’t really make much food wise until the fridge gets here.
Plus it doesn’t feel like home. I know it will eventually but right now it feels like a house with our stuff and some new stuff put into it. I am sure some of you understand that.
I should be used to this feeling. I’ve moved a lot in my life. Used to amount to about 1 new place every year and a half but now it feels wrong.
I know part of it is the depression and part of it is the adjustment. I’ll deal with it I always do.
Today was not a bad day. My mood was a little better and I managed to get quite a bit accomplished.
The house is starting to look like a house. There are some pictures on the walls and shelves getting filled. I can’t wait for Saturday when we get the last of the shelves and bedroom furniture. Tuesday the appliances come and I’ll be able to get the rest of the clothing washed and put away and maybe then I can get on to cleaning the floor. it’s so dusty.
At least I am feeling motivated. Time for sleep now though. Hubby goes back to work tomorrow so it will be my first real day here alone. That will take some getting used to. I think I can do it though.
I thought that my emotions would be different. I thought that I would suddenly want to do all sorts of things. I thought once I was in my house I wouldn’t experience the depression. I was wrong.
I’ve been feeling kind of blah today. Things are still not completely put away and I can’t take care of them until some dressers and shelves come later this week. I’m feeling overwhelmed and stressed.
I thought that I would just automatically be happier. I didn’t think that the mood swings would happen so soon. I thought I would at least be able to ride the high of owning a home.
It’s frustrating. I want to be happy and relaxed. Stupid brain.
We’ve moved into the new house. All our stuff from California is here and we moved all the stuff from MIL’s house here. Last night we slept on the floor but tonight we are sleeping back in our king sized bed.. *relief*
Today we spent a lot of time opening boxes and figuring out where stuff should go, we still have tons of boxes to go through but we have to wait for our bought stuff to arrive so we have surfaces and other places to put things.
Last night we watched Big Hero 6, it gave me a lot of joy. You should watch it if you like that sort of thing. Made me laugh my ass off.
My mood has been pretty good since we got everything done yesterday. I was so stressed out about signing the papers and everything and then I didn’t have any anxiety at all during that time.
We’ll be buying a new bedroom set which will be nice, right now our bedroom looks like a dorm room a bed with no head board or furnishings.
It’s sad when the guest bedroom looks better than your own.
My mood has been fairly up today. I’m tired and realize that I really need to get into better shape.
I’m a home owner though so everything is good.
Hubby let me slave on his phone so I could post tonight, is he awesome or what? I didn’t even know you could do that!
I didn’t realize it at the time but when I posted my blog yesterday it told me it was my 400th post. I’m actually pretty impressed with myself. 🙂
Today I slept til 10:30 but am planning on getting all the laundry done so I can pack most of it up. It’s 7 days until we move into our home and I want to be prepared.
I’m feeling ok today, it feels like it could go above that if things align right.
Tomorrow we go for our second last walk thru of the house. We will be pointing out anything we need fixed before next Thursday when we close. We’ve been checking it out at least once a week, so we already know what we want fixed, which is honestly one thing, the door to the garage. So that should be fun and quick.
I’m so excited that I am going to be able to post from my house in a week. I think that is going to help a lot with the mood swings because my stress is going to go down a lot. I can’t wait to get all my stuff and unpack! I haven’t seen it in 8 months so it will be like opening presents.
Well I’m off to finish the laundry!
it’s nice to have more than one day in a row where my feelings are up.
I spent another nice day with hubby watching anime, playing diablo on the PS4 and watching the walking dead.
Watching anime with hubby right now and it makes me feel very warm and happy. I’d forgotten how much I really enjoy it.
I don’t know it is the pristiq or if my mood has just shifted. Only time will really tell.
I’ll post a picture of my ring after I get it sized.
1 week 5 days until we move into our home. eeeeeee so exciting.
Well I have some great news! We got the closing date on the house. So Feb 26th I probably won’t be posting that day or the next, but moving into a house and not having internet is a really good reason to not post. 😀 I’m absolutely thrilled that there is an end date finally.
I went to my shrink and we talked about trying topomax but because I am sensitive to medications she checked out interactions and apparently it interacts with two of the medications I am taking. So we talked about depakote, lamictal and lithium. I decided to try the lithium again. Depakote causes weight gain and I had a horrible time withdrawing from lamictal so this is where it stands.
Lithium worries me, but honestly I’m at a point where if I can stop the mood swings I am going to give it a try again. I was so depressed on it before I wouldn’t have been able to tell if it was working or not.
I’ll do the research I need to so I don’t mess it up and try not to stress about it.
Does anyone remember what some of the lithium interactions with regular meds are? thanks!
Today we went out to the house and the cabinets were up! It’s really starting to look like a house. However it seems like they are sitting on their asses when they should be working. We should have had a move in date of Feb 10th. Really there was no reason is couldn’t happen except the exceptional amount of time that the house sat there with no one doing anything. I hate fucking waiting.
As you can see I am a little annoyed. Checking my email every hour like a crazy person waiting to hear from the company that it is 45 days until our closing date and hearing nothing is just pissing me off at this point. I want to be in my house dammit. It’s been almost half a fucking year I have been living with my mother in law and it is going to be over that when we finally do move into the house.
I swear I am gonna turn into a hermit for the first few months and just relish the moments I am having in my house.
Til now I guess I will just go insane waiting. Can you go crazy from being impatient? Guess we’ll find out.
Sick sucks. My mood is good. I am in the mental arena of being able to do anything pretty much. This cold has me laid out like well I can’t think of anything creative. Just sick as hell and unable to do anything. Can’t even think. My nose is so plugged I can barely breathe and my throat is so sore swallowing totally sucks.
A good thing that happened is that we now have part of the garage and a basement framing done. It’s awesome! Finally seeing some work done to the house has risen my spirits. I’m excited again. That is nice.
Anyhow gonna go back to bed and rest some more. I want to feel well enough to go the lot on Friday!
This morning I woke up and something was different. I was in a better mood. I wanted to go and look at our lot. Last night I was pissy and didn’t want to go and when I got there and there was no change I was furious. Tonight they had done a little work and I didn’t immediately have a panic attack about not getting into our house in Feb.
I know that it is chemical. I know that it is also stress that is forcing me to be so moody. I have a lot to be stressed out about. I am stressed about the mom in law moving in with us after we get our home. I know I am going to be very protective of my home. I am also looking forward time alone with my husband.
I can’t wait until the 16th, it’s our 13th wedding anniversary. We are going out to dinner and then going to a hotel for the night. Alone time in a clean place. It will be awesome.
I’m tired of being where I am. I wrote down 1-20 on a white board so I can erase the weeks as we go along to count the time to get into our home. The day we close, we are going to be sleeping on the floor. I want out that badly.
As you can see it is bothering me a lot lately and there is nothing I can do about it at all. ugh.