stress management

Find Calm

I’m obviously pretty stressed out. Having a home built. Living with my mother in law. Those are just a few of the things in my hefty load of stress.

My therapist said that I need to find something to de-stress myself. It’s hard. I have some games to play, i can paint and I like to play this thing called star something or other, it’s a karaoke game.I like singing, but then it makes me feel bad cause while I can get 3 stars on a lot of songs, I know I am not very good and it records you visually and audibly and it brings back those feelings of self-hate that I am trying so hard to fight.

I don’t know what to do. I feel like my insides are going to melt into acidic mush if I don’t find find something to do. I just wish I had the will, or the positive feels I were feeling last week. Some motivation would be nice but I’m tired and I’m stressed and I just don’t want to bother.

I even had a panic attack today at my therapy session. It sucked balls. This was after a xanax and a clonazepam. Ya I’m stressed.

So Far, So Good

Today I went to lunch and shopping unmedicated to do something I enjoyed while I was having anxiety. It went ok I’m still living and I didn’t run away which is something. Every single thing I do unmedicated is an an achievement.

My gerd is really bugging me and it is giving me some stress but I am not going to let it get to me. I’m gonna take a pill and move on. Eating is becoming just unejoysble. I guess that I one way to lose weight.

I’ll let you know now it goes tomorrow if I go..