Stopping the Lithium

I am just getting more and more physically ill. This morning I actually threw up and frankly that is the last damn straw.  Yes I am bipolar 1 and bat shit crazy but I would rather feel decent physically so I can concentrate on my mental health. I called the shrink and told him that I wanted off and I told my husband. My husband fully supports me going off it, he has seen my health declining and my mood still not where it is supposed to be.

Maybe now they will consider the ECT, if not I’ll wait until I get to Omaha and get a new pdoc. I promised hubby if I start to feel off I would let him know and we could discuss me going to the hospital if it gets bad. (which terrifies me but may be necessary). I’m frustrated with all these meds. I’m tired of always feeling like I am on the edge of some kind of bodily accident. *shudder*

I was going to post about a subject my husband and I were talking about last night. Actually it just sort of popped up as we were getting home from my picture taking. My therapy and need to deal with my past. I never really think about it bugging me. I have no problems mentioning the things that have happened and I am sure talking to a therapist they will figure out how to make it cathartic during therapy.

My husband said to me I’ve seen the way your family treats you now and I know that it was worse before, just from that you need some therapy. I suppose he’s right. I can talk about all the horrible things that have happened to me with indifference. That is probably not the healthy choice. I would not be surprised if I didn’t have some PTSD from the sexual abuses, rapes, physical assaults etc. I think I’ve just put up some kind of very thick skin about it rather than deal with it.

There’s a reason I have borderline personality disorder right? I am really looking forward to getting to the bottom of it.

4 comments

  1. Wow, ECT is a big step. I thought about it when I was getting the DBT that exacerbated my symptoms rather than relieving them. Being on the wrong meds did not help either.

    I appreciate where you are coming from with the frustration with the meds.

    I hope you see some improvement soon.

    cheers, Glenn

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  2. I have dignosed bipolar type 2 a year ago and I’m on 200 mg of lamtical. I have been having physical problems with it from day one. I went to my regular doctor to see what was going on and he just dismissed repeatly and has been for a year now. I would think that if something is bothering your breathing that it would be taken seriously. I have given great thought of stopping my meds just to get relief. I’m not wanting to stop them because I feel I’m much better mentally but to stop the discomfort. I use to a advid cyclist but since I’ve been having this pain I’ve stopped riding. Oh, what is ECT?

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