Mood: Good, though I want to shop for some stress reduction. It is one of my coping mechanism and sadly one that often gets me in trouble which is why hubby has all my CC’s heh
You know I realize that when I am in one mindset or the other I tend to forget what the other is like. When I am depressed as hell I feel like I have been that way forever and it is never going to stop. Thankfully it is starting to pass and just in time for my mom and sisters visit. Yesterday I was going between calm, laughing and crying. Talk about mixed episode. It’s been like this for about a week I think. Though it was predominantly at the negative end with a few breaks.
Today is the first day I woke up and could say, I’m ok. It’s funny when just OK is a wonderful feeling. No super highs and gut wrenching lows. So today I would like to say some things that I am grateful for.
1) The hubby! I am reminded every day how lucky I am to have him.
2) The family I have in my life. My mom is trying really hard to understand my bipolarity.
3) My health (I think) I had a full heart workup last summer when I had a huge panic attack and a torn muscle in my shoulder. I mean they did everything.
4) I am really fortunate to live in SoCal, when the rest of the country if having horrific weather we have tons of sunshine and always have something blooming. The last few days it has been raining and it reminds me of the only weather I miss from states who have seasons!
5) My blog! It is giving me a sense of routine which is something I am badly in need of! This is the longest I have stuck with something besides my marriage 😀
6) The people who don’t know me but wrote kind words when I was struggling. Thank you! Communicating with others who also have mental illness is more comforting than I ever realized.
I will keep doing this blog and try to remind myself everyday that even when life feels like it is complete shit, that, that is my bipolar brain.