I actually feel physically crappy but I managed to do the dishes and laundry. I can never tell where I am emotionally when my body is being a dick.

I am also really damn fidgety it’s hard to just relax you know?

Is it mania? possibly .. I have am definitely experiencing a  lot of emotions.  I bawled my ass off today after watching some videos. I had a real reason to cry but I rarely do so it came as a shock, which just made me sob all the harder. I think it was cathartic though.

I really am missing my family right now. Especially my daughter and grandson. I wonder if I’ll ever get to meet him face to face and it hurts to think that I may not because of my stupid fears.

Being afraid all the time is so taxing.