Total Meltdown

After writing my blog yesterday I had settled down a bit so when hubby came home I warned him that he should not poke the bear. He managed to do pretty well and we relaxed and watch some TV and just kind of chilled. I was even laughing and talking. I thought the worst had past, so did hubby.

We went to bed and planned to watch an episode of a show but then he realized the time and said I can’t do it I need to sleep. I basically mumbled okay whatever, to which he replied something not sure what cause at that point I just started screaming my ass off at him and than started sobbing so hard that I was hiccupping like a kid who fell down. I cried so hard I almost threw up.

Then I started in accusing him of making me stressed out, not taking care of me, and even started yelling at him for our Vegas vacation stating that he won’t stick up for me if his mom wants to do stuff.  I was horrible.. Just horrible.  I sat there kind of watching myself doing these things, thinking man I am bat-shit crazy why are you doing this.

Eventually I calmed down and we sat and had a long talk about our fears and the mutual stresses we were sharing. He never talks to me cause he is afraid to stress me out more, but knowing he is stressed to is actually kind of calming to know I am not alone.

Today I found out we are definitely moving back to Omaha so I am happy about that and with my little mental break I think that I got rid of a lot of held in stress. I’m not happy today but I don’t feel like I want to hurt anyone either, so improvement!

 

 

5 comments

  1. My husband and I have that same dynamic – him not wanting to talk because it might stress me out, but the very not-talking is actually a trigger for my mind become stressed. I also hate watching myself go off … ugh. I’m so glad you were able to talk things out, and how have some certainty about your future.

    Like

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