It’s All Good

Went to the dermatologist and paid 50 bucks for less than thirty seconds of his time. Oh you are all good, no bad moles at all. So happy and perky, I wanted to punch him in the face.

I have no idea why I am so angry about it. I should be thrilled. Nothing wrong with me, but I am mad. I think it is because of all the anxiety I have felt about it. The quick you are fine didn’t seem to be enough to have merited all the anxiety I have felt since last week.

I did get a lot of things done after. A nice breakfast with my husband. I needed to get some blood taken for my shrink. She wants to test the common things, thyroid, vitamin d, liver levels and a couple of others I didn’t recognize.

She gave me a new medication benztropine to help with the restlessness that I feel. I can never sit still, so I am to start taking it at bed time. Not sure if I take enough sedative like meds, xanax, clonezapam and now this new one. I should be really relaxed anyhow.

My therapy also went really well though I ended up talking about my husband for most of the hour. I put him on a pedestal. I know it and the therapist says that maybe I need to do just that. I don’t understand why but I think she is right. He’s the one person I idolize in my life and he is a good moral person.

It’s hard for me to love or even like a person. I’m learning though. This blog helps a lot, it gives me interaction with people I normally wouldn’t have encountered in my life. So this blog is good for all sorts of things.

Thank you for the people who comment and support and even those who just read, you make me feel less alone in the world.

5 comments

  1. Amazing how we can work ourselves up needlessly, isn’t it. I’m glad to hear that your mole was not a problem. Glad, too, you had a good therapy session, and that your husband is a wonderful and supportive man. Go ahead and put him on a pedestal. I figure, our husbands put up with and take care of us, so they deserve some praise. 😉

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  2. I’m glad that there are no complications with your moles, even though it’s kind of annoying that it cost so much money for such little time spent.
    It’s good to have someone in your life that you look up to an admire. And as long as the pedestal you put them on is realistic and achievable then it’s okay to do that. It doesn’t hurt to remind yourself one in a while that they are only human and makes mistakes, and have imperfections like we all do. Remembering this helps us to not put our loved ones on an impossible pedestal.

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