Yesterday I went to my therapists and I found myself struggling to find something to actually talk about. I know as bipolars talk therapy is beneficial and will have us with our recovery. Bah recovery seems like the wrong word. We don’t ever truly get better it’s more like parts of us go into remission if we are lucky.
I find when I am in a good place none of the bad stuff really stands out. The same goes for when I am in a bad place, none of the good really stands out. Should I try for therapy when I am only in a bad place. I think that would be very difficult, considering I can’t even get in to see her again until late May.
I’ve been enjoying life more lately. Keeping my house sparkling clean, cooking meals every night, doing laundry and dishes as they need to be done instead of letting them build up. I’m playing games on the computer with my husband again and it feels really good. I’m also trying to get in at least a mile every single day and am losing weight.
I know the depression is going to come again but I’m trying to avoid thinking about that and just stay in the moment.
Mood : Elated!
Hubby is finally home!!! Thank goodness. However before he came home he talked to me a lot about what I was going through. He even suggested that I be my boldest and talk to my mom. So I paced around the house and built up my nerve and when she came home I asked if she could talk.
I asked her to just listen while I said my piece. I actually had made a note so I could read from it and keep on track. I thanked her for helping with the housework and told her that I hope she didn’t feel obligated to do it. I told her that if she wanted to help me with my bipolar, I didn’t need advice but just a ear to bend. I even told her that this is not what I expected from the visit.
As the night went on I started feeling better, like a weight had been lifted off my chest. I was laughing and talking and feeling more comfortable. I am not sure if this was just the talk or the talk and the combination of hubby coming home but when I woke up this morning I felt even better, I woke smiling even with just 3 hours sleep!
I go to the doctors the day after my birthday, so I am excited about that, also a little nervous because I am afraid that I won’t be believed because my mood has no edge currently. I guess we’ll see..
Thank you for the comments, they have helped!!