I have no motivation, yet I want to do a million things at once. Once I accomplish something I feel like it is shit.

For example my very first try at a manga drawing wasn’t horrible. I just think it was a big piece of shit.

I havent showered in a week. Tonight was my first one and it is only because tomorrow I am going to the doctor to get a mole checked on my back instead of going to therapy.

I wish I hadn’t of cancelled my appt with the therapist but I’ve already had precancerous moles removed and hubby does a mole check every month. He found a couple new one and is concerned about one. I trust him. It may be nothing but if it is I’d rather another giant scar on my back then death.

I’m stressed out which honestly with everything going on is not surprising. Adding one more thing to the mix just makes things interesting in my head. It’s batshit crazy in there right now.

I’m trying to find the positive, but it is lower on the horizon then it has been the past few days. I feel like I am sinking.