cleaning

Man I Feel Old Today

I’m only 46 but today is my daughter’s 30th birthday and it’s making me feel so much older.

My mood has been pretty steady. I had a couple of days of depression but I accidently missed a dose of my pills so I think that is to blame.

I am still spending a great deal of time cooking, cleaning and hanging out on the computer. I am also trying to get in at least a mile a day, the exercise seems to also be helping with the mood. I don’t know if it’s chemicals or because I am accomplishing something.

I’m down 28 pounds now! I am only creating goals of 5 pounds at a time so that I don’t get overwhelmed, at least the scale is finally going in the correct direction.

I am thinking of applying for a work from home job. I think it would be good for me to do something with my time and bring in a little money as well.

Time for me to make more positive changes.

A Better Day

Today was a better day. Not because my depression improved but because I decided to listen to my BFF and try to make myself happy instead of waiting passively by for my pills and situation to fix anything. I love how she talks to me because she doesn’t hold her punches and as a fellow bipolar understand how things are. Not just anyone can do it but I appreciate that she does.

The minute I woke up I literally started mopping the floors, they are still covered with some dust from the build. They are finally starting to look like nice wood instead of some dusty old wood from a barn. It felt good to accomplish something. When hubby came home we walked around our block with the dogs since it was such a beautiful day. I think I am going to work on exercising every day it seems to pump me up some.

Tomorrow our fridge and washer and dryer get here so I can finally get all the laundry done from California. It’s been filling corners of the washroom and bedroom. There is a lot! It’s going to take me several days to get it all done but at least tomorrow I can finally start.

Tomorrow I also see my psychiatrist to get my pristiq increased. Should be an interesting day all in all.

I also finally get to shop for real food and cook a real meal if I so choose! Woot.

I Have No Idea How I Feel

I woke up this morning, sad as usual and dragging myself out of the comfort of dreaming.

Right now I have no idea how I am feeling. I am by myself and that always gives me a low gauge on my emotions. Interacting always brings out how I am actually feeling. Usually Jim brings out the best of me even if I am depressed.

On a good note I have gotten a lot done today.

  • I got some painting done.
  • I did a drawing.
  • I cooked some sausage for dinner.
  • I did some laundry.
  • I put laundry away and tidied my room.

I think that puts me a little outside of depression but it’s only 3pm and I’m bored and lonely. Laundry takes a while to be done and do the rest. I ran out of paint and can’t work on my painting and dinner isn’t for a few hours to finish it. I think tomorrow I’ll start working out. Today I am gonna just watch some TV and wait for hubby to pick me up and take me to Michael’s and the house.

Moods are weird. Wish I could read them better.