internet

Pissed

Today I am angry. I woke up and felt so anxious that I screamed at the top of my lungs scaring the shit out of my poor dogs. It helped a little I suppose.

Most of the day has just been spent on the web trying to find things that might make me smile or laugh.

I love animal pictures and stories. You know the happy ones. Of course I came across some sad ones that were also happy, you know like a dog getting abandoned and then getting rescued by some kind souls.

I almost hate people who hurt animals. They fucking love us with everything, we should treat them as good as they were our own children. The fact that people can be like that just makes me wonder if the world wouldn’t be better if all the humans were gone.

I’m angry that my mind has so much control over me. I mean I know it controls everything but I’m talking about those voices that constantly talk in our heads. I’d like my brain to give me an atta girl once in a while, would be nice.

I plan on being 2 more days without weed. It has made no difference other than I can’t eat as much and since I am losing weight I would like to keep going. I am over 50 pounds down now. I guess that is an accomplishment. Would be much better if I could stop hating myself.

Blech

 

Internet Down

My internet was down yesterday but the days I missed before that are all on me. I thought that once I got my computer back it would be even easier to remember to write everyday but I am trying to live life and I got busy actually having fun.

I was playing outside with my dogs, walking and playing on the computer with hubby until the wee hours of the night. I’d like to say I am going to be writing every day going forward but it’s not a promise I can keep. I am going to be writing at least a couple times a week, maybe more.

My mood has been pretty good for the last few days. Normally it is depression that makes me forget things but happiness did it this time so I really just can’t complain.

I go back to my therapists tomorrow then see my shrink 2 days later. I wonder if she heard about my saliva test. I guess I’ll see.

Last Post For Several Days

Tomorrow we move into our new house and we’ll be spending the next week unpacking and getting things set up.

I’ll have internet on Saturday so if I’m not completely exhausted I will try and post then but no promises.

Anyhow off to finish the last of the packing….. see you soon!