Folic Acid

I thought folic acid was something that just pregnant women needed. However when my shrink did the saliva test it turned out I was low. Apparently the over the counter stuff isn’t what I need either so when I tried to get my script filled they wanted to charge me a whopping 165 dollars. I said nu-uh and waited until I saw my shrink this week. She gave me a month worth of samples to see if it actually helps. We’ll go from there in a month.

My mood has been pretty good. Like I said before I am feeling pretty normal. Which is kind of a bummer but good at the same time. My shrink is happy with my improvement.

I miss my hypomania so much though. What’s the saying, you don’t know what you got till it’s gone? Yep ain’t that the truth. I knew it was wonderful but didn’t know how much I would miss it. Needless to say it is taking a lot of adjusting.

The depression has been good. Only lasted a couple of days this month and it wasn’t as bad as it has been in the past. I guess that is something to put in the good column.

New Medicine

Today was ok. I played some diablo and watched some TV. Got no painting done and really didn’t accomplish much. I did go see my shrink today and she gave me a medication that should help me focus more on things. I have a habit/problem of not being able to do anything for more than 5-15 mins. I think I might have ADD, she thinks it might be because of anxiety and the general bipolarity.

So the new medicine is what we are going to try and see if it can help with my general malaise. It’s supposed to make me feel more motivated and less irritable. We shall see. Honestly I am willing to try anything as long as my problems get better.

I trust my shrink. That’s more than I can say for most people.

I Feel Like An Addict

I finally got my clonazepam and it feels wonderful to not have to worry about not having to worry.. Weird right.  Maybe now I can finally go to the doctor and see what is going on with me since I am pretty sure at this point it is not depression. I have a large swollen area around my spine on my sorta lower back. I am starting to wonder if it might be my kidneys with everything else that is going on.

Hopefully I will be able to start going out again. I was considering not going to the new shrink and staying with this one, even though she makes hubby furious. He thinks that she treats me poorly and doesn’t care about me. I suppose it is true, every time she returned a call she always spoke of money first, then whatever I needed.

I at least don’t have to worry about my clonazepam for a month gives me a few days to sit and think more rationally.  I am torn, stick with what I know and get subpar treatment or move forward and try the new doctors knowing I am leaving in July. Which now hubby tells me is not as positive as I thought it was, he is getting details on Monday.  I actually want to go back so I hope there is no issue. I need to buy a home and settle and be calm.

Staying in this apartment causes me nothing but stress. The constant construction, the inability to just walk out my front or back door into the great outdoors.. I hate it. We can’t afford to buy here unless it is in a bad area, so I wouldn’t want to do those things there anyhow.. Sigh..

Anyhow I’ve bored ya long enough. Though tonight I watched Frozen and if you haven’t seen it, it was absolutely wonderful. Even made me a little teary.. I both love and hate Disney.. Belle she is my girl though. That movie makes me cry each and every time. I even collect Belle things, I have a ceramic table with the rose, I never take it out of the box though because of earthquakes here, pez dispenser, a ring and much more. I feel like a little girl when I find a new Belle thing!

I do ramble as usual