My SiL had my nephews birthday and we weren’t invited. In fact I’ve barely seen her lately. I’m pissed off and hurt about it. She promised she would never stop asking me to go places yet we were left out of a family thing.
WTF, just wtf.
I always care more about people than they care about me. Maybe I’m being over the top but since my little green friend is gone, so is she… fuck… just fuck… I miss her.
having a wonderful day hanging out with my SIL, it’s wonderful and I don’t want to interrupt it so sorry this blog will be la suck for today.
Gotta grab the joy!
Tonight is family night. I love it when my mother-in-law and sister-in-law come over for dinner and a visit. I try to do it weekly but it hasn’t happened since St. Patrick’s day. No fucking wonder I’ve been feeling so lonely.
My sister-in-law is pretty awesome. I love hanging out with her. We talk and do artsy things together. Usually there is wine involved.*wink*
Anyhow I’ve been having a rough day but now it’s getting a little bit better.
I haven’t been around people for a couple of weeks and I’m not feeling very good physically, I’m depressed and anxious. It sucks.
Tonight is my nephews birthday and I just sent my husband off to a family gathering without me. I just don’t feel well enough to even be around family. I love them but can’t handle it right now. Though I would love some one on one time with my sis-in-law, I miss her.
I’m in one of those moods where I am finding it really difficult to write or express myself. Yet I did say I would post every day so here I am!
Blog post posted….
I hate being over stimulated and having a guest staying with me, always does exactly that.
My father in law was supposed to stay with us for a weekend is now staying with us for 9 days, maybe more I don’t know. He came into town for my sister in laws divorce and Easter. I now have to budget our meals differently. Watch TV shows I have no interest in and just generally not feel comfortable at all. Plus my lower back is killing me from sitting on the couch all day. Tomorrow I clean. It is starting to make me feel depressed. Apparently this is a huge trigger.
Plus we had 4 people from my husbands work drop by for a tour of the house. That was really stressful, but now we might have a couple to hang with! So that’s something good that came out of all this.
On the plus side when I woke up this morning I was officially down 20 pounds! That makes me happy as hell. I have a lot more to go but I am going to celebrate all the losses. 20 pounds is a huge deal.
Except for the last couple days my mood has been better. I am trying not to get down but I can feel my joy slipping away as I slide further into this hell. I’m not getting to hang with hubby either.
I’m frustrated to say the least though. I don’t know what to do about it.
A Bipolars Reality 