Yesterday Was My Birthday

Yesterday was my birthday so I didn’t post.

Honestly I had a lot to do. Nothing celebratory but I had to wash a lot of laundry and go shopping to fill my freezer and fridge.

Hubby and I really didn’t celebrate this year because of buying the house the day before his birthday and the appliances coming on mine. I did have my last piece of cake though!

I only bought low carb/high protein foods and we didn’t buy any junk. We are going to try and eat better and now that we don’t need to eat take out anymore it should be a lot easier.

My shrink appt went well. I did the spit dna test that determines which meds should be best for you. She upped my wellbutrin to 300mg a day since it was actually getting me out of bed and left the rest of my meds as is.

She said the goal is to get me out of bed and me enjoy being out of bed.

I still have tons of laundry to do today so I am going to stop writing. I own way too many clothes from depression/mania shopping but I can’t pair down just yet.

Not Much Happening

Mood: Good, been a few little saddish moments but mostly good. Having trouble sleeping again!

Not a fan of birthdays but today was actually pretty nice. I had banners and balloons and cake, Plus Pressies which I love!!

I don’t normally celebrate birthdays in a normal fashion, actually I am usually just miserable.. Once again I have no idea why I just think it is one of those triggers.

Tomorrow I go to the doctors to hopefully get that referral. I’m nervous and excited.

Hubby and I talked some more about moving back to Nebraska, it really seems like a good idea right now. I hate to give up the gorgeous weather but I just think it would be awesome. I am hoping we know something by the time we go to Las Vegas in April, so we can hopefully give his mom the news of us coming back. I think that would make her day, on top of the wedding that is.

My poor yorkie is still feeling terrible, Poor girl. I love her to pieces and hate to see her feeling poorly. They are going to a dog hotel while we are gone, little buggers are getting better rooms than us! LOL They deserve it though.

Well thatis it for today I will let you know how things go with the doctor, I doubt it will be very eventful. Hopefully I can get hubby to take me to the forest afterwards!

Holy Moly

Mood: Good, weird right?

It is hot here in SoCal. Really hot.. I am comfortable at about 68F anything above that is typically too warm for me. However I absolutely have needed to get out of the house. Which is honestly awesome.  I have walked around a lot, went to brunch with hubby and just generally enjoyed the day. Things seemed to have hit a good spot (crosses fingers). I would like the calmness to continue.

By the time you are are reading this it will be my birthday. Hard to believe 13 years ago I had planned to end my life on this day. I am very glad I didn’t even if I have to struggle each and every day.

The sad thing is I realize that I live my life to be with my husband and need to become more independent. I am not sure how to do this though.

My husband talked to me about moving back to Omaha which really has a lot of pros, we would be able to get a better house, I am more willing to go out there. I would have family for holidays.

Here I basically have the weather.. Which seems to be a silly reason to stay here.. We’ll see what happens when he talks to his boss next week. I hate waiting to find these kinds of things out. Honestly though I want to be in a house at the end of the year. I need some stability. So here or there it’s gonna happen.

For some reason though despite the cold winters, hot summers and tornado season the idea of moving to Omaha kind of excites me.

I hate that I have nothing of value to write but I am keeping my promise to keep doing this every day! so woot