I woke up first thing this morning (well 11:00am) and went straight to the phone to order my xanax as my prescription only has about 8 days left and I don’t want to be without for even a minute. I’ve noticed that one of the few things I actually manage to keep track of despite having alarms.
As you know I set an alarm to write each day, sometimes I don’t follow through. I could even be sitting right here at the computer and not do it. I don’t know why. Motivation is very hard.
Yesterday I emptied the sink into the dishwasher it was crammed packed with dishes and I thought maybe it would be good if the sink looked nice. So I did something yesterday as far as an accomplishments. Just a little one a day might lead to bigger and better things.
It’s 11:16am and I’ve already done my blog.. Today is a good day.
I finally made it to my shrink appt, woot! She is taking me completely off the wellbutrin and then we are also going to remove the Pristiq after. So another 6 weeks before that one goes.
That’s all I managed to accomplish, though she gave me another .5 mgs of xanax to take a day. 3 over the course of the day as opposed to the two I have in the morning the the .5 I have in the afternoon. We are trying to find a rhythm.
Overall it’s been a pretty good day. Oh I also ate breakfast at the restaurant. So big day for my social anxiety fears.
Typically my day consists of sleeping until noon and then watching the same 3 shows every since afternoon. It kills time until hubby gets home and sort of keeps me busy.
Weekends are much harder. Hubby is here but he wants to do things on his computer and shows that I have no interest in. I’d be fine with that if weekend TV didn’t suck when it’s not football season.
My house is a freaking mess. I need to clean it but am so unmotivated to do anything physical.
My shrink wants me to take my latuda and 2mg of Xanax first thing in the morning, it’s made me kind of sleepy feeling all day but I’m also restless. It’s a very strange feeling.
I watched DeadPool with my hubby and could not sit still for more than a minute, it’s driving me crazy.
First off I am super proud of myself for actually going. I had forgotten how much I like her. I’ve even made a follow up appt.
She increased my Latuda to 80, lowered my Wellbutrin to 150 and left the Pristiq the same. She also wants me to change how I take my Xanax 2mg in the morning and then gave me an extra .05 for mid day.
I talked to her about the fact that I have been sick and she thinks that it is because of all the anxiety I am constantly putting myself under. So we are going to work on that and the depression.
Honestly ever since my best friend and dog died I haven’t felt like myself at all. I’m always afraid.
Did you know that the stomach has more serotonin receptors than the brain which is why someone like me can make themselves sick I guess.
I’m still going to the doctors monday so they can at least do some blood work and maybe help on their end.