latuda

Shrink Visit

So today I went to my shrinks and she changed my meds. I am going off the latuda, down to 40 mgs for four days, than 20 mgs for four days. Than I start taking rexulti. I don’t know if it is going to do any better and I’m super nervous, changing meds is always very scary .

I trust her though. So it’s going to be ok.

 

Ahead This Time

I actually thought about writing my blog without using the alarm! Hopefully this will become a good habit again.

How am I feeling today? I honestly don’t know. I am motivated enough to shower and wash the dog. (two for one deal) I was able to eat a little already which is good. Lately I have just such a hard time eating. I know it is all in my brain though. I just have to be tougher than it for a change. Eating when you don’t want to is just very difficult. I’m not exactly nauseated. It’s really hard to describe.

My mood is good. My anxiety is middle of the road. I try not to think about it too much. Thinking about my anxiety makes me more anxious. Stupid huh?

So far today has been kind to me with the hot flashes. I am hoping my body is getting used to the Latuda.

Still missing my weed though. I didn’t realize just how much it helped with things like anxiety and eating.  Tonight I should be able to get some more though.  I wish I lived in Colorado.

Latuda

Recently my doctor increased my Latuda to 80mg up from 60mg.  I didn’t connect the fact that the Latuda and these horrible hot flashes I’ve been having were connected. Well since it has gotten worse since the increase I am going to say it is definitely from the Latuda.

The thing is it’s working for me. I’m less depressed but more anxious. I also think that’s related so I don’t know what to do about it. I hope that both pass as I get used to the drug being in my system.

If you’ve never had a hot flash then you have no idea how horrible it makes you feel. You are all of a sudden on fire, it’s so hot it make’s you nauseated. It feel like it it never going to end but then it does and you are completely soaked head to toe in sweat. I feel consistantly sticky all the time. My dogs love it though cause I’m salty. I hope they pass or there is something that will help cause I don’t want to give up the Latuda.

Days

Typically my day consists of sleeping until noon and then watching the same 3 shows every since afternoon.  It kills time until hubby gets home and sort of keeps me busy.

Weekends are much harder. Hubby is here but he wants to do things on his computer and shows that I have no interest in. I’d be fine with that if weekend TV didn’t suck when it’s not football season.

My house is a freaking mess. I need to clean it but am so unmotivated to do anything physical.

My shrink wants me to take my latuda and 2mg of Xanax first thing in the morning, it’s made me kind of sleepy feeling all day but I’m also restless. It’s a very strange feeling.

I watched DeadPool with my hubby and could not sit still for more than a minute, it’s driving me crazy.

Less Than

Today I am less than depressed. Not happy but not as down as I have been either. So I guess it’s a tiny win.

Today I will be going out for the first time in at least a week because I have to pick up my Latuda. I really need to talk to my shrink about increasing the dosage. It might help the repeat cycles of depression that seem to be getting closer and closer together again. It makes it so hard to live a normal life.

Today I actually did some cleaning and sat through a whole movie. Which if anyone knows what depression is like makes these rare positive things. Hopefully this means my cycle is swinging the right way for a change!

A Little Depressed

Today I woke up a little depressed. Saturday night I missed my Latuda by mistake and I think that has a lot to do with it.  It’s amazing how missing one pill can make you feel completely sad and unmotivated.

I don’t even want to do anything fun.

Hubby and I are watching Dare Devil on Netflix. We binged watched the first 12 episodes and will be watching the last one tonight. It’s pretty good from our point of view. We stayed up until almost 4 in the morning Saturday watching it. I think that might have a lot to do with it as well.

I didn’t wake up until noon today. I could just as easily crawl back into bed too. I thought 11:00am was really pushing it but noon is really gonna mess me up. I suppose I should listen to my shrink and start setting an alarm and getting up to try and enjoy the day.

We’ll see…

Another Med

Today I went to see my shrink and we talked about the depression and general lack of motivation. I’m going to stay on the pristiq and latuda and am adding wellbutrin into the mix. She is hoping it will just give me a general push upwards.

Next week I get to do the spit test to see what drugs will work best for me. As it is I think the pristiq is making me gain a little weight and usually it has a lack of wanting to eat side effect. I never seem to get the side effects I want lol.

The house is really getting into shape. I can’t wait for it to be completely unpacked. I am tired of looking at boxes. Just need to wait for my shelves and dressers to get here. Then boom I’ll be done. Have to wait for Saturday though. Guess that is not too far off. Feels like it is though.

My mood was kind of meh today but not completely down. I am still having a hard time finding interest in anything to do though and the things I usually enjoy are also just not being enjoyed. Sigh.

I know it will get better, these waves just have to keep being ridden. I wouldn’t mind a nice smooth even keel for a longer amount of time though. I don’t think that is asking to much.

Almost Didn’t Post

Almost forgot to post. How can someone who has been posting every day forget?

My brain is so filled with depression and stress that I am not thinking clearly.  I am worried about everything for the house going smoothly. 16 more days to go and I’ll be in my own home but my mind can’t help but think of all the things that could go wrong before then.

I went to my shrink today and she’s decided to add pristiq to my other meds, apparently it works really well with latuda so hopefully I will start to see a change for the better soon.

Today I ended up going back to bed and sleeping most of my day away, all I can hope for is to be more up tomorrow then today. I know it could get worse but I hope it doesn’t.

 

Bored But Happy

Today is the first day that my husband and I have had alone since the last time we went to a hotel. I’m bored but happy. I’m glad to have the house to ourselves and be able to watch whatever I want, yet there really is nothing to do since all our stuff is in storage.

Today hubby said he thought I might have ADHD because I am unable to sit and do anything for more than 10-15 mins at a time. Maybe he is on to something. I’ll talk to my psychiatrist about it when I see her Thursday for a med update. I am sure she is going to find the mood stabilizer to be the more important of things right now anyhow.

I actually am looking forward to going back on a mood stabilizer now that the Latuda seems to be working better. I hope it stays that way. Meds and me have a weird way of interacting.

Anyhow that was my day, not really that much to write about.

Dang Almost Forgot

Usually this time of night my blog pops into my head and I write it. Yet tonight I am tired and almost went to bed without writing in my blog.

My cold is now mostly just a sore throat. Yesterday I went to the minute clinic and had my throat checked for strep. The 5 minute test said nope. So I just have to wait for it to pass. They said 4-5 days I might need some antibiotics but my nose is clearing up all on its own. Gross right? lol

Today was pretty uneventful. I shaved my dog and slept a lot. Tomorrow I see my therapist and shrink. I am wondering if I should increase my Latuda. I’ve had depression but it doesn’t last as long. I am rapid cycling, but that is the norm and I am remaining mostly active.

There were more things done when we went out to visit the house. They will be doing the electric and plumbing soon. It’s all very exciting. I will post pictures on Saturday. Now I’m off to bed.