Just Wow

Today I reached over 500 followers. Thank you to the people who read my blog and get something from it.  That means the world to me.

The puppy is doing even better today, I got little bruises all over though from her rough playing, those little teeth are sharp and she bites and pinches.  I keep giving her toys to chew on, but she likes my fingers and arms so much better it seems.

My mood today has been good. I woke up on the right side of the bed happy but a little tired. I usually sleep until noon each day because it takes me so long to fall asleep at night but the puppy had me up about 9:30am. Gotta make sure she gets her antibiotics.  I did manage to nap today though, as soon as her little head starts bobbing like she is going to pass out I put her down on the floor and let her go potty on the pads then she climbs the stairs up onto the bed.  Here I was talking about my mood and I started talking about Dani again. lol.

I feel hopeful today. Perhaps things will swing back around to being good for a while, I like when that happens. My shrink really has seem to found the right mixture for my depression and as I said I don’t have manic episodes anymore since I had my hysterectomy several years ago. I do miss the hypo-mania though.  It allowed me to get stuff done and right now I am still overwhelmed about the amount of housework that needs to get done. I need to start off small, but it’s hard when I am making sure the little one isn’t chewing through cords and what not. Yes it’s an excuse but a valid one.

Maybe I’ll get hubby to watch her so I can get some stuff done this weekend.  We’ll see.

 

What I Expected

At 9am this morning the shrink called to cancel my appt. Why don’t we get to charge them for letting us know when there are less than 2 hours before an appt. I also called the pharmacy and they just wanted to tell me that my Rexulti still isn’t covered. I know appeals take a while and there is a lot of reason to think they are going to just say no again. Needless to say I’m not hopeful. Luckily my shrink left me a couple weeks of samples to do me until my new appt. Feb 5.

The puppy is doing so much better, it’s like having a small child. I’m exhausted plus I didn’t hardly sleep at all last night because I was worried about traveling on shitty roads. She is playing like crazy but I worry she is getting more attached to my husband than me and I wanted this one for myself. Course he’s gone all day and doesn’t need to admonish her so I’m the mean momma. I did get her pad trained already though which I have to say I’m pretty proud of.

My mood has been okay, it’s hard to be up when you’re exhausted.  I’m trying though. I just feel like I can’t get enough sleep, I had a nap at 6pm, which in hindsight might not have been the smartest thing but I had to lay down, I was starting to doze on the couch and I didn’t want to get my face bitten by a little teething puppy.  Man she has some sharp teeth.

Well this post is all over the place, but you get the gist of it.

Frigging Snow

Today I woke up to a world covered in snow, hell it’s still snowing. It might make it so that I can’t make it to my shrinks tomorrow and I’m out of rexulti.  Do you ever just know things aren’t going to work out? I’m feeling slightly pessimistic right now.  The drugstore called me and I have no idea why and of course I didn’t get the message until after they were closed so now I have to wait for that until tomorrow.

On the Dani front, the pup seems to be feeling much better now that she has a couple days worth of antibiotics in her. She’s still coughing but she is running around and having a blast. The other two dogs are still getting used to her, Lilly our littlest is being a super bitch to her, she actually bit at her face and pulled out some fur. We’ll be taking the puppy with us when we go out so as not to leave them alone. I honestly thought she would love the puppy the most since Charlie never plays with her and she is only a couple years old, still a puppy herself. I think she is jealous at this point and I know it will pass.

On the mood front, I had an ok day, not a great mood and not a lot of sleep because who knew it would be so difficult sleeping with 3 dogs in a king sized bed. We’ll work it out though.  Trying to stay on the positive side of things is definitely difficult to say the least. Kind of looking forward to when I can smoke weed again. Just something to look forward to I guess.

Well that’s it for today. Least I’m blogging.

 

Back On Track

Ok the puppy is starting to feel better in her lungs thanks to some antibiotics but now her poor tushy is giving her problem which I assume is from the antibiotics, I know it does it to people. The poor little thing we’re trying to get her over 3 pounds so she doesn’t go hypoglycemic but with all these problems it’s going to take a bit. Today she was coughing less and actually playing, she has been sleeping for the past 3 days so you can understand why that’s good.

My mood is still pretty good though I’m feeling sorry for the little fur baby.  I’m nervous about seeing my shrink because of the rexulti, but I am going to deal.

I haven’t smoked any weed since Christmas day so I don’t know if that is a factor or not, we’ll see in February when I start smoking again. If it turns out to have a negative impact on my antidepressants thanI will just not smoke anymore. At least not as often.  Maybe once in a blue moon. We’ll see.

My diet still hasn’t taken off, with the new puppy and the sink being full of dishes I haven’t managed to get any cooking done, so we’ve had a lot of pizza and hamburgers.  The sink is a battle between my husband and myself. We’ll see who loses. lol.

Well that’s it for today, see ya tomorrow.

 

Sick Puppy

The new puppy we have has kennel cough so I forgot to write on my blog. She visited the vet today and got some antibiotics, hopefully she’ll be feeling better in the next few days. I need to get back to her but didn’t want to miss another day.

I can’t believe that I forgot to hit publish. Geez another day of missed blog….

My mood has been great except for feeling worried for the new fur baby.

I go and see my shrink on Tuesday so hopefully I’ll know more about the whole Rexulti situation. I really hope the insurance company covers it, we can’t afford 900.00 a month. Things are finally starting to swing into the positivity side, I consider ok a good mood too because it’s not negative.

I’ll be better about the blog tomorrow. sigh.

 

Another Good Day

It was another good day, though a tiring one. I am used to sleeping until noon because my sleep is so messed up and I was up at 8:15 this morning. Gotta take care of the new puppy. I decided to call her Dani after my late best friend. She was a huge lover of dogs and even volunteered for her local shelter, so that just seem like the perfect name to call the new little one.

My mood has stayed up the whole day even though I had to miss a dose of one of my meds because the script hasn’t been filled yet, I hate that. Having to depend so much on doctors and pharmacists is a real pain in the ass. I hate missing doses, but maybe I’ll get a hypo-manic phase out of it 😉

Well that’s all for today.

 

 

A Good Day

Today was a good day even though I am only going on about 3 hours sleep, if that. My mood was good though and we went out and got a third fur baby, a little 2.5 month old Havanese. We haven’t named her yet, she so cute and usually I come up with a name right away, but I think the lack of sleep is making that super difficult. I’m even having some problems typing. So this blog is going to be short.

So 1) No depression today

2) I went out!

Not too bad at all.

 

Right Side OF The Bed

Today I woke up in a completely different place than I did yesterday. I laughed at something my husband said to me about 5 minutes after I woke up. It was nice, my husband is so awesome at making me laugh, sometimes even when I am at my darkest. When I am depressed he always asks if there is something he can do to help. Usually there isn’t but it’s so awesome that he wants me to feel better.

Last night I had a dream that I lived in a house with a group of people and all these other people kept coming over and touching my stuff, it was really pissing me off. Even touching the phone set me off on a rant. What a weird dream to have, I wonder what it means. I don’t have people over to my house very often. I used to have a weekly dinner with my sister in law and mother in law but I started shutting myself off when the depression got to be too much. I think I need to start having them over again.

Today I think I’ll have another relaxing Sunday where I just sit and listen to music for a couple/few hours. Music is really a part of me, even if I don’t play an instrument.  Even when I’m depressed I sometimes listen to music so I can zone out and forget about how I’m feeling. Isn’t it wonderful to have something so simple be so helpful?

Well off to listen to some tunes, hope you have a wonderful day.

 

 

My Damn Brain

I felt it coming last night, it was lurking in the background of my mind. When I woke up this morning I was super depressed. I feel like crawling back into bed and just staying there. It feels like I’ve never been happy.  I know it was okay just a day ago but it doesn’t make me feel any better.

I don’t even feel like posting my blog, but I made a promise and I don’t break my word, ever.

So here’s my post, I’m going to crawl under a blanket and watch Golden Girls.

See ya later.

As an edit, I had a nap and woke up feeling slightly better. I don’t know why but I’m grateful, I was stuck in a horrible place feeling like I couldn’t get out.

 

Sleep And Blogging

I finally got some good sleep last night. Apparently getting up in the middle of the night instead of just laying there for four hours or longer works. Or I was just too tired from not sleeping so many nights, who knows. I’ll do the same thing tonight if I can’t sleep and see what happens, though there is really not much to do at that time of night, I’m sure I can find something on crunchyroll or netflix to watch.

I’m still pissed that I posted so late yesterday, I suppose it’s going to take a while for it to become a habit. I think they said doing something for 21 days makes it a habit so we will see if that is true. I’m only a little over a week now.

Can’t stop yawning even though I slept well last night and had a nap this afternoon.

Right now I’m terrified of the flu. I rarely leave my house so hopefully that will keep me safe. I hate reading about it killing perfectly healthy people, because I’m overweight and likely have a shitty immune system from not being constantly exposed to things/people.

Anyhow that’s it for the day. Other than my mood which is just okay but still not depressed, so that is something.