Not About Me

I have the most wonderful husband. We’ve been together for over 15 years. He is gentle and kind and supportive. I get many hugs from him every single day. (unless he travels)I’m super fortunate to have such a good man. Even when I am depressed and on the edge of wanting to kill myself he can still manage to pull laughter from me.He’s a giant teddy bear. He’s what keeps me going. I just wanted to say how much I love him and like him. He’s my best friend and he puts up with my shit.

Today he found a dying baby bird in the parking lot at work and instead of walking by it like everyone else was he got a paper towel so he could put the poor little thing back in the nest.  He is such a good tender hearted person. I’m not sure what I did to deserve him but I am never letting him go.

I think I’ll go get a hug now.


Kindness? What to do with it?

Thank you to everyone who has been so kind and supportive. I really don’t know what to do Keith kindness but the blogosphere is full of such warm and compassionate people. I expected to hear nothing but how disappointed they were and only heard that from one person.

My BFF did not hold back in telling me that I had disappointed myself and sadly her a little.

For some reason she thinks I am super woman. She’s maded me promise to call her be next time I am stuggling so she can kick my ass and help me through it.

I admit I felt hurt and beaten up at the end of our talk. Yet this is how we are with one another, when everyone else is being kind, we are honest. I think that’s what makes us beat friends.

I’ve rescheduled for Monday afternoon. Let’s hope I make it this time. I hate to get my as reamed out again..

I’m still anxious but hopefully I can start getting my life back into living it…

I So Did Not Want To Post

I’m tired and still feeling crummy. I went to the walk-in clinic to see if they could help and they were closed. Will go tomorrow before their end of day closing.  I’ve been avoiding going because I am afraid they are going to tell me something is wrong or tell me nothing is wrong. This cough though is getting super annoying. I thought my chest might be okay since I can sing a long note but I can’t keep putting things off. Admittedly I would just love to shove everything in a box and deal with it when we get back to Omaha but I don’t know that this will weight. That has nothing to do with posting though. I’m positing because I am starting to feel an affection to the people who read and comment on my blogs.

I always feel that people honestly care when they are leaving comments for me and I will the warmth of a hug when one is passed my way. I feel that I am very lucky. I had planned to write this blog as a way to vent and keep track of my moods and instead feel like I am becoming a part of a community. A community that doesn’t there there my hurts when I express them. This was not anything that I ever thought I would even want let alone need. I think I do though.

Thank you, thank you, thank you. I wish I could single out people and say the wonderful things they have said, but I have a fear of leaving someone behind and that never feels good.