I’m starting to care about some things again. The first being my health, both mental and physical. I’m nervous about visiting my shrink but I know that I need adjustments. I also need to make an appt for my yearly physical.
Prince died today and it freaked me out. The whole flu like symptoms thing covers so much. Add an anxiety attack and bam I’m gonna die. My mind goes there fast. Anyone else have a brain that goes to the worst possible outcome?
I find that I am pacing a lot. I want to do things but have no idea what to do or where to start most of the time. Too many options is almost as bad as none at times. Least I am getting exercise lol.
It doesn’t feel natural though to be not posting every day. I don’t want to get out of the habit of it either. I need to fix my shit and get back to writing every day. I wasn’t going to post every day because I don’t always have something to say and I don’t want people to be bored but I am going to make sure I do it for myself.
My mood has been kind of middle of the road. I managed to make it being by myself until almost 10 o’clock last night though because hubby had a work dinner. So I think that I handled that pretty good. I didn’t crawl into bed and I didn’t break down into tears and was even encouraging about it. So good for me.
It’s grey out today and it’s hard to be in a good mood when the world is cold and yucky. I’m trying though. Think I am going to do some housework or workout or something physical.
Well since I’ve been writing for a full year and two days. I plan to keep writing every day this year as well. I hope that I can get up two years. I might miss a day or two when I move but I hope to find wifi I can hook into to at least post something.
My mood today is anxious. I haven’t been able to completely relax and I can feel that I could easily lose my temper. I’m what I like to call itchy, not quite bitchy but the itch is there. I don’t want to do things I don’t want do. I don’t want to be told my opinions don’t matter. I don’t want to listen to what other people have to say. I know these things will bring out the capital B.
I’m trying to keep my temper. I am trying to remain calm.
I’m not feeling great physically. I’m not feeling great emotionally. I am anxious about our trip. I’m anxious about feeling bad and I feel like all my nerves are on edge. I hate this feeling.
Maybe it will be better tomorrow.. maybe..