I didn’t sleep very well last night, I wasn’t able to get past REM before I would be woken up by something or somebody. Then all today I had bottom issues. The stress of tomorrow and Thursday is really playing havoc on my body.
I’m so fucking stressed I seldom have a moment where I can relax.
I hate things that you HAVE TO DO!
I had forgotten just how bad my anxiety could get until this past week. At least it is keeping my mind off the depression which is still rearing it’s ugly head.
Yesterday after talking to my psychiatrist it made me rethink if I should go to the doctors tomorrow.
My shrink believes that my tummy troubles are because of the stress and anxiety that I and life have been putting myself under. I think she is right honestly.
The problem is the lack of motivation to eat. Now to be honest today has been better than it has been in a while. I might make 900 calories, 1000 if I have another shake before bed. That may not seem like enough but I’m not over extending my energy so I am ok for now.
My shrink gave me pills for nausea which is one of my problems. If I can get past this and start enjoying food again it would be wonderful.
I’ll let you all know how it goes tomorrow whichever way I choose.
(still no weed by choice) I am considering giving up alcohol for good just so my meds can work to their full potential.
Does anyone else drink from time to time? I was drinking a couple bottles of wine once a week with my SIL. I think I’m over it.
In addition to being bipolar and a bunch of other psychiatric things I have GERD which is not fun. I was a very bad girl and stopped taking care of it which I think has been most of the reason for all my stomach issues of late. So I am back to trying to get that shut under control.
I didn’t go out today in fact in the last week I have only gone out twice, I need to fix that shit. I don’t want to be homebound again. I have to be so careful about that.
I did cancel my therapist appt this week but I will make some in the future after my stomach settles and the ECT is underway. I am not gonna punish myself too much for backing out, things are just really stressful.
I still can’t believe that I am starting my ECT the day after tomorrow.. Do exciting and scary..