It feels like I never am not anxious anymore even taking my 3 mg of xanax a day.
Tonight everyone is here for family dinner night and we are having what you should consider a nice visit but man I am thrumming.
I’m glad I’ll be able to get high tonight and finally not be able to focus!
Anyhow back to the family.
Yesterday I started my new meds. Needless to say I’m depressed still. Don’t expect much, Ran out of weed.
It’s gonna be a rough couple of days.
Might be a good thing, might not. We’ll see.
I don’t have much to entertain my mom.
So my mom is here for a month so my blogging may be messed up.
I decided that I couldn’t go to Colorado, it’s just too much stress.
I made dinner last night and tonight instead of take out.
A sentence is a good start to having something to write. All I have is that sentence though.
I did some laundry yesterday but did nothing today but chill. I figure my mom will keep me busy over the next month after she gets here.
Chilling is OK. Sometimes you just have to smoke and relax and not worry about everything else going on. I’m still depressed really need to start the new meds.
I haven’t started my new pills yet. I am afraid.
I’ll start them eventually. I just need some time to be mostly drug free. Weed doesn’t count.
I’ll start Weds when mom gets here. I’ll be surrounded by a lot of love then.
It’s almost time for me to start my new meds, I think I start tomorrow. I’m so nervous.
Again I didn’t feel like writing my blog but hubby mentioned it so that kind of put me here.
I accomplished nothing today but being stoned. At least I’m alive.
Today is not one of my best. I’m depressed but with my little green friend I kind of feel immune to it, sitting on the edge wanting it to dare poke it’s head through. That’s the best way I can think of to describe how I’m feeling right this very instant. Plus my damn back is killing me. Spending to much time slouched over I guess.
I’ve played some WoW with hubby today and last night cause I still want to do stuff even if I don’t want to do stuff. I think a lot of people could understand.
Depression sucks balls.
Despite going on the weed while I go off my meds. I’m starting to feeling miserable again.
I have no motivation and my mom is going to be here in less than 2 weeks and I need to get the house in order. Ugh.
I wish that I felt better. I’m so afraid of going on a brand new pill. Blech.
I was too stoned and forgot to write my blog again.. or maybe I did… nah I didn’t.
Today was productive. I’ve had a shower, washed some clothes and working on cleaning the bedding right now. Well drying it. I went out to Michael’s to get some Halloween decor for our island in the kitchen and I also went to best buy to replace my speakers.
I also haven’t smoked yet. So productivity first, smoking after.
I had a good time last night though, hung out with hubby watching the last season of Netflix New Girl. I’m not sure how far behind we are now, but it was wonderful anyhow.
My mood has definitely been up and I think it’s the weed. It’s mixing with my antidepressants just right..
I missed a blog cause I was stoned. I said I’ll remember than I didn’t.
Tonight I am playing with hubby before I smoke some weed cause it does make me a little dippy. I admit it. I mean that’s why there was no blog yesterday right? So we’re playing World of Warcraft, doing some raiding. I haven’t done that in a long time but I am feeling better. So the month without weed proved nothing other than I should maybe be smoking some weed. I’ve been in a decent mood the last few days and Weds night was awesome. Completely laughing my ass off till I cried awesome.
Tonight I’m just gonna chill and Netflix, HA! I’m gonna try and watch one of those shows hubby likes so much, so that I can join him for the second season. We’ll see if it’s something I will enjoy.
A Bipolars Reality 