I’m trying to lose weight. I’m trying really hard not to eat sweets but damn I want some cake. Been craving it all day. Lucky for me there is nothing within walking distance, I might have walked for it lol.

Today has been pretty uneventful.

Yesterday my sister in law invited me to a little gathering she is having Sunday, I’m actually thinking about going as it will be good practice for the fourth.

Hubby doesn’t want me drinking anymore so it might be hard though.

It’s Hard To Be A Friend

As you know I often complain of being lonely. I have no clue how to make new friends and I am pretty anti-social. I have two people I would consider friends. My husband and My BFF Dani. We don’t talk as much as a lot of friends. We are both bipolar and have always just disappeared and reappeared in one another’s lives. That was ok with me.

I was often afraid to reach out even though she is always supportive and tells me the truth as opposed to what I want to hear. She is the only person that I allow to speak to me this way. I love her very much. Yet I am a horrible friend. She is going through some very big stuff and I’ve been wrapped up in my own stupid shit. My stuff really isn’t that important.

When we do talk she often asks about me and doesn’t give much info on herself and how she is doing. I find it frustrating and it makes me feel selfish.

My friend has cancer, I’m depressed. BFD on my end…

Needless to say I feel like a shitty friend.

Still Alive That’s Something

I feel better today then I did yesterday. I think maybe some of it is that a weight has been lifted from my shoulders more than anything else. I think as the stressful things start to get dealt with I will at least not have those things constantly stirring in my head.

Last night I read the side effects of Lithium on my medication pamphlet and almost didn’t take it. I mean most of it isn’t scary but there are a few things that definitely frightened me. I started to search the web on peoples reviews and realized I was only reading bad reviews which wasn’t going to put my mind towards taking it that was for sure.

I decided to be positive for a change and looked up positive lithium reviews. For the people it works for they have remarkably happy stories of returning to life as a fairly normal person. This gave me hope. Something I usually don’t partake in. So I took the pill last night and well it didn’t kill me so I think that’s rather splendid!

I am sure none of the side effects are instant but each day I take it I will become more confident in it. Know what I mean?

On a side note. My best friend and I decided that in two years we would apply for the Amazing Race together. We would work on both our mental and physical health and we would do this together.  It always helps to have a partner and having someone who thinks a lot like you can really help. We talk to one another like people are supposed to talk to bipolars, not like they feel like they should.

Five more days until Vegas, I am both excited and scared! Looking forward to it regardless 😀