Tonight is the night mom & sis in law come over for dinner. I’m actually looking forward to seeing some people. I have been dreading it before now.
Physically I am starting to feel a little better. It’s nice to not wake up with a head full of cotton for a change. My allergies are so shitty.
Today I’ve swept the front porch and ordered my new cell phone. I rocked that call. I was funny and outgoing it seemed like I was a completely different person.. Well I’m always a little funny. 😛
I’ve decided when I get my new phone I will start going out at least once a day and taking a picture of whatever I see. So there will likely be photos along with my blog posts. I’m posting the idea here because it makes me more accountable. Me and my BFF did this once before. It was on my other blog, but I’m trying to work on just this one for now.
I miss her so much. She was so good at kicking my ass and keeping me motivated. I want to do this for her, I want her to see from where ever she is now and be proud of me.
I usually don’t make resolutions because honestly usually by the second week in January I have failed and am beating myself up. I realized that I make really big ones that are hard to do anytime. Like the common.. I’ll lose weight. My brain just can’t wrap itself around it. I have tried for years and haven’t been successful. So my resolutions will be smaller, easier to manage.
I gave up caffiene (I think) a few month ago. It’s been at least a couple. I didn’t think I could handle it, but it really interferes with the way my brain works and I don’t want to make things even harder on the meds meant to fix me.
So here are my resolutions.
1) Give up potatoes. I can do this, I’ve mostly stopped getting fries when I get meals so just going to expand on that.
2) I am going to try and breathe more. Like instead of freaking out and being angry or annoyed all the time I am going to take a moment out to myself, turn on some music or just have a nap and breathe. Stepping away is something I’ve been avoiding because I dread being alone. I make myself so much more than I need to.
3) I’m going to continue blogging every day. I am hoping to start my writing and picture blog back up when we get in the house and I have access to my computer. This one will keep going every day. I find that most days I actually look forward to writing. There are the ones I dread but then I feel proud of myself for doing it regardless of how I am feeling.
That’s it, nothing special, just three smallish resolutions to start the new year off. I think I can do these. Once I get into my home I may add more things to the list, but honestly there isn’t a lot of possibility of them happening whilst living in someone else’s home.
Do you think you make realistic resolutions if you made any?
Today it is freezing and there is some cheesy snow. You know the kind that doesn’t really seem to be from the sky but is on the ground non-the-less. So I thought that I would post some nice sunny pictures from California to show that even though I hated living there, there was still beauty to be had. Then I realized all my gorgeous sunny photos are locked up in storage jail on my primary computer.
It’s made me wish for my things yet again. One day I will have one computer with my photography and Photoshop and illustrator on and one for all my games and things and they will be in my presence.
When we are in our home I will be able to sit down and write my book. I have a hard time just sitting on my laptop and focusing on my story(ies). I want to be able to sit in a comfortable computer chair and listen to music blaring full blast and just throw out my words until my fingers tire.
I had stopped creating when I was unmedicated and now I want to create something almost every day and I’m unable to really get into things because this is not my home and I can’t create the way that I really want to.
I miss being able to be slightly manic and write little novelettes and poems because there is no place to sit and listen to the voices in my minds eye tell me stories.
I’ll be posting more than my feelings next year, it will be all of me. Sometime in January I will hit a full year of posting and next year I want to do the same thing only bigger, better.. I guess we shall see.
Today we went and signed the contract for our new home. I took some pictures of the model home we are getting a copy made of. The decor will be different but the layout will be the same. Enjoy the pics!